Follow
Share

My my family still clings to denial no matter what happens or how obvious my wife's dementia is. They try to look away. It always goes back to me being the scapegoat and that everything would be well if it wasn't for me. The caregiver self-deception is always present. I have to go, a Mockingbird is at the window letting me know to get moving!

(0)
Report

Concrete advice. Ok...talk to an elder care attorney to see what, if anything, you can do in this situation. Be prepared to be told that there is nothing that can be done.

If there is a legally assigned Power of Attorney and that person is NOT you, then you need to understand that you don't have any legal authority and have to abide by what your wife and her legal POA decide.

Perhaps look into therapy for yourself as well - to deal with this situation and better understand what may have happened in your home.

Yes, dementia is hard. I have a good friend who would visit his wife in memory care - and she would introduce him to her boyfriend each time and sit and hold hands with her boyfriend while talking to the man she introduced as her friend that visited her frequently. He dealt with this for at least a year before she passed away.

Another friend, when we were children - her grandmother chased us out of their shared home with a butcher knife because she thought her own granddaughter had broken into her home and was trying to rob her. We were teenagers and I'm in my 50s now and I can still remember that as vividly as if it happened yesterday.

All you can do is what is allowable within legal parameters. And strengthen your own mental resolve to be there for her if she needs you.
(1)
Report

Call a lawyer for concrete advice.
(1)
Report

This is your second post in 14 hours.

As a forum of caregivers, mostly from the US, we really can't help you with this problem. It seems to me you may be the problem. Since your wife has been hospitalized and in rehab, if she had Dementia it would have been diagnosed by now. Your being kept away from her for a reason. She doesn't want to see you, she doesn't have to. She can request you get no info and she can live somewhere else. You being her husband means nothing.

You need to realize you maybe the problem. You need to have a heart to heart with your son. Then you may need to see your Neurologist because as your Parkinsons progresses, there will be changes mentally and physically that you may need medications for.

Please reply to this post, don't start a new post.
(0)
Report

If you have a mockingbird at your window letting you know "to get moving" it perhaps is a good thing that you can no longer see your wife as you yourself might need some mental health help, and I hope you will get it.
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter