I was warned she's not going to get better. As much as we've always had an acrimonious relationship all of my life, this is just tearing me down because I know now she just cannot help it. Doesn't make it easier. I am now just trying to get us through the next holiday and the New Year's. I need so many prayers.
I have a Christmas Gift to suggest you give yourself. It has REALLY helped me. It's called The Anxiety and Worry Workbook and is written by two cognitive therapy docs, David A. Clark and Aaron T. Beck.
Before I knew it I was being sucked back into Christmas prep drama and crossing my own boundaries! But I put the brakes on that and backed up and now know that it will be as simple as I can handle.
I have got to find a new therapist. I've attempted 2x but canceled.
Hopefully I will find one in January.
Thanks everyone for your responses. I hope you all have a Happy Holiday and New Year. Be safe and stay warm. (unless you're in Australia, then stay cool!)
It has helped me in difficult times. Including when my father was declining due to dementia and my mother was not handling any of it well at all.
I don’t pray in the conventional sense but I will do this meditation with you and your mother in mind.
https://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html
if it doesn’t resonate with you, I still wish you all the best in getting through this stress and suffering. I wanted to add that while your mother cannot help her cognitive decline — neither can you. It is sad and terrible, but it can’t be changed so must be accepted.
I was a wreck the last few weeks of my Mom's life, it was overwhelming.
She may not be able to help her behavior now because of dementia. She did not always have dementia though. What was her reason then?
You are way too hard on yourself. You deserve to show yourself some care and kindness.
Yes, you need prayers. You also need some support. Are there family or friends who will help out with the holidays so you don't have to wear yourself out? Waytomisery made a great suggestion. Keep it simple. Get a pre-cooked dinner, watch movies, listen to music. Only decorate a little and don't buy all kinds of gifts. Give yourself a gift and take things easy.
Try to watch some Christmas Movies. And just know, this is the experience. You have to let the grief in at times. Maybe that's the purpose the holidays serve at times.