I Want to Keep My Husband At Home, But My Children Think He Should Go To Nursing Home.


Hi, My husband will be 83 on March 27th. He fell and broke his right hip on Oct. 28th. He was in the hospital a week and rehab for two weeks. He is now mostly wheelchair bound.I do all his care for him and now run the house. I just retired from nursing after43years. I so want to keep him home, but it is hard. He has had two strokes in the past and colon cancer. I guess I am glad I can still get him out in the car but it is hard. My children think he should be in a nursing home. Thanks for listening.

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O completelly understand your concern. You really want to be the one to do it all because you feel that no one will ever care for your loved one as you do. And by the way....they never do. I have have had real life experiences with that. I would ask you to please look in to the many Home Health Agencies that seem to be available and take the time to thoroughly research them until you can find one that is at least worth coming to your house a couple of times a week to help out. Different companies have different policies so make sure you have a list of what you would need help with a home so that you can discuss the terms, accept or move on to another agency. This way you will not have to place your parent in any type of living situation that will cause he/she even more mental trauma. Oh, and don't let money be an issue.....medicare and other heath insurance plans cover home health, they just don't advertise it or talk about it unit YOU the concerned family member sits down to discuss patients rights and priveleges. I I pray that you embark on this journey soon! I will be praying for you. I'm a 36 yr old daughter taking care of a mom who was diagnosed with alz about 4 yrs ago and she is in denial. The past couple of years have been spiralling down hill quicker then ever and everyday is a fight to get her to go to her doctors appt. and to get her to stop telling people that the last episode that she had almost a month a go (7 consecutive falls)were not because i clean the floor and make it slippery on purpose.........recognize a pattern anybody reading this out there?

I just want to let others know that if someone is treated at the VA clinic's, suah as my husband was in Leesburg, FL. They have a home bound program. It helps when going in to the clinic is too hard on patient and caregiver. They have a nurse practictioner check on the patient do labs and write orders as needed, at home. They also check on equipment needed at home. Thay have a dietition visit about diet. Thay have respite 2weeks every six months as needed at a VA home or 4hours in the home every two weeks. I did not know this service was available for veterans.

The decision to place your loved one in an assisted living facility or nursing home is one of the hardest decisions you will ever make. It is a personal choice. Can you care for him effectively at home? Would having a nurse or nurse's aid come in a few days a week help?