Follow
Share

My children tell me I need a case manager or personal assistant to help me manage all the things on my plate. I'm cash drained using every spare dime hiring caregivers for my ADW in late stage Alzheimer's. Our family is thousands of miles away. I have all the as-sundry estate documents and powers of attorney. I admit to being challenged to keep track of all the tasks etc., and things to manage. Suggestions welcome.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
FF it's time to take over your dad's accounts. I did that with my folks (they never fought me on it) and I consolidated things and certainly kept them in the loop. You can keep you dad informed with spreadsheets (what I did with my folks) and still have statements come to him, if he absolutely demands it. You can look at things online and handle it that way. With all you're doing for your folks, I'd make it a non-negotiable demand. Your mom's not there to call the shot, so be more forceful with dad to make it easier on you. Lay on the guilt trip if you have to. Cry a little if necessary. You're trying to do the right thing for Pete's sake! Ask for some respect and cooperation.
(1)
Report

Dave, I know what you mean I am trying to navigate through the maze of the care for my Mom and my Dad who are in their mid-late 90's. How I wish I could just hand all this over to someone much younger who can easily deal with the financial aspect.... my math skills have slid a bit as I have aged.

My biggest hurdle is trying to get my Dad to reimburse me for bills that I have paid from my own checking account, due to the fact that Dad doesn't want to deal with his household bills.... been trying to get him to consolidate his checking and savings accounts into just one account instead of a half dozen scattered in different banks. Same with his stocks, scattered in different places. That would make life so much easier if financials were in one or two places. Like the stock under one stock broker.
(1)
Report

Can ypu afford a case manager just for a month, to help you navigate the caregiving system and your personal challenges? That may be all you need. Find a c.m. who will not insist you retain them longer.
(0)
Report

Why do your kids think you need a case manager?
(1)
Report

I have the services of a great social worker. I was looking for Suggestions out side the box.
Things would be easier for you and her if she were in a care facility? I have a support of caregivers for her current needs. There will be life afterwards and I'd just as soon not to have to move under a bridge. If I must spend down I'll spend down on in-home support. If the crisis point comes that it becomes an impossible task then plan c will move her to a SNH.
Our local Agency on Aging is dysfunctional and staffing is in constant turmoil.
I miss my wife and the day to day discussions of everyday topics. She's 82 and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2009.

re sons; you can ask them when you might expect a check in the mail to pay for one. :) Done did that. I'm not holding my breath :)
(2)
Report

I not familiar with your situation. I checked your profile and it's mostly your biography. How old is your wife? Would things be easier for you and her if she were in a care facility? Depending on the level of care she needs this could be almost impossible for one person to handle.
(1)
Report

Dave, I don't have any good advice. Many of us on here are the case managers for our loved ones. It would be nice to be able to hire someone, but case managers and personal assistants are expensive. If you are tapped out financially, I don't know how you would swing it. When your children tell you that you need a case manager, you can ask them when you might expect a check in the mail to pay for one. :)

Sorry I can't be more helpful. I would personally love to have a personal assistant, but my wallet is mighty thin.
(2)
Report

Dave, I have no useful suggestions, but hope to bump your question back to the top. There is a big difference between the skills of a personal assistant and a case manager. Can you contact your local Agency on Aging to find out how to access social workers who might help?
(1)
Report

No suggestions ?? Am I alone on the world?
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.