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This is not a question, just to let ya’ll know what’s happening.


As a lot of you know, my mother is 96 years old and has stage 6 Alzheimer’s. She lives in a memory facility in Tijuana, Mexico. Hubs and I just moved to the Puerto Vallarta, Mexico area and we were excited for her to join us. We were waiting for her bronchitis to clear up and then would accompany her on the plane to her beautiful new tropical home (another memory care). She has had bronchitis twice before within the last 12 months and bounced back well.


Change of plan.


We’ve been checking up on her daily and, this time, she’s not responding to antibiotics, other meds and nebulizer treatments. They took her for a chest X Ray yesterday and it revealed a “huge tumor” (Spanish for cancer) in her left lung, “fluid” in the lung (Spanish for pneumonia) and ganglions attached to her chest wall (growths). She has also stopped eating and drinking and has a fever. I found this out at 5 pm last night. I have a flight up there at 6:30 pm tonight.


If she survives that long, I will call the Mexican Red Cross (they do all ambulance transports in Mexico) to take her to the border, then call 911 (U.S.) to meet us at the border. (I know it sounds complicated but I’ve researched it and this is how it goes.) She’ll go to ER and probably be admitted. Of course I’ll stay there too. I’ll talk with the social worker about transferring her to a SNF with hospice (if we get that far).


I feel like I’ve been slapped real hard and my brain flew out of my head. Things are spinning and I’m trying to keep up. Out of “daughter mode” and into “nurse mode”.


Hubs lined up my BIL to pick me up at the airport and take me to my mom. They’ve offered to have me stay overnight.


I have all mom’s important papers (birth certificate, social security card, passport, border crossing card, health insurance card, etc.) together and will be bringing her meds and a printed history and physical from the facility that she’s in in TJ.


I won’t be sending her back to Tijuana to die. They’ve done a good job taking care of her but it’s too hard for border crossing. We’ll work it out for the San Diego, California area.


40 years as a nurse tells me my “patient” (mother) is dying and I need to make this a smooth transition. As her daughter, I need to realize that this is it and hold up until it’s over.


Those of you who pray, I ask for prayers to do the right things and the ability to stay the course. The Good Lord has His plan and I’ve asked to be able to follow what He would want done.


I’ll really need you guys in the coming days. Wow, this is tough. I thought we’d all live in paradise down here. 😢


Change of plan.

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Sue, I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I wish you and your family peace through this sad time.
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Sue I am so sorry. It sounds as if her passing was gentle and I am glad you got to be with her.
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Dianne,

On March 16, Sue' s Mother passed away.

" At 10:40 pm she breathed her last breath and her life stopped. She waited for me to get there before she died".

We are all sorry for her loss.
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So sorry for your loss! I should have read comments, before posting. Prayers to your family and so glad you got to be with her. Their has to be a sense of peace, knowing she will never suffer again. I wish I knew the right words to express but you have my deepest and heartfelt sympathy💜💜
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So sorry for all your going through. Besides the traveling aspect of it, I can totally relate. My mom was just released from hospital yesterday. Lung infection on read right lung. She had it on both before, but we caught it earlier this time luckily. She responded well to treatment. But overall, things are on a bad decline. Its like you know a train is about to go off the rails, but don't know when exactly. Its nerve wrecking and giving me major anxiety. No one wants their parent to suffer, let along watch it, and feel helpless as hell. Its so many emotions but I pray that God brings you and your mom comfort and grace and let things be as smooth as possible. We all have your back here, and will be here when you need us. A forum like this is such a blessing on so many levels. Take care and many blessings.
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Of course we want you to hang around, Sue. My mom passed almost two years ago now and I have not provided care for her for almost four years. I have some very good friends here that kept me going when things got really rough.

Get some rest and remember you need to take care of you.
(3)
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((((((Sue))))) we want you too. I lost mother in December and am still dealing with things and still need to be here . You have a wealth of wisdom and good experience to share.
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I still want to be part of the board even though I now have lost my loved ones.
I’ll need you guys even more in the coming days.
Ya’ll are lifesavers.
(7)
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Sue, what an incredible sorry of how your mother waited for your arrival. That must provide you with so much comfort. I'm sorry for your loss, but, so relieved that you were able to get there and speak your heart to her. You and your family are certainly getting many prayers a wishes for comfort.
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Sue.... (((((hugs)))))

I wish you peace about everything. I’m glad your mom didn’t linger in pain and so glad you were able to be with her. Wishing you growing peace and comfort in the coming days as you do final arrangements. You did good. 💜
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((((((Sue))))). She waited. That was a gift to you. I am thankful she is now free of her "mortal coil" and earthly pains. Take care of yourself as you go through the next part of this difficult journey. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
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Oh Sue...I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

It's not unusual for our loved ones to wait for certain family members (or all family members) to be there before they go - but it's also not unusual for them to slip away when no one is around, because they don't want to upset anyone. Seems odd that it can happen that way, but it does. Quite often, they simply need someone to tell them it's ok to go - and then they do, shortly afterwards. I've done this with both of my parents and my grandmother....and it's so, so hard. Probably the hardest thing we'll ever have to do in our lives - but it's also the most important gift you can ever give them. You did the right thing.

Many hugs to you....hang in there.
(8)
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Hugs, praise The Lord that her suffering is over and she is in her glory.

May God give you and your family grieving mercies and strength during this time.
(6)
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Sue,
Sorry for your loss.
Prayers for you to be comforted.
(5)
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Sue, so sorry for your loss. Your mom is at peace, prayers that you also will have peace and pockets of rest. You’ve done well. May the comfort of good memories surround you in the days ahead
(5)
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Sue, be at peace. ((((((( hugs)))))))). Love and comfort to you. Barbara
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Ahhh, Sue, I am so sorry, such a difficult situation. You have taken such good care of her. So strange how things happen sometimes. You had a plan for mom, but I guess there was a larger plan on place. Mom is looking down upon you and so proud of you for all you have done and very grateful.
(6)
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Thanks to everyone for your support. I didn’t know if mom would hang on today as I was flying up to TJ. When I heard how close to death she was, there was no way I was going to try to move her across the border.
I went in her room around 9:15 pm tonight, told her that hubs and I love her and that it would be alright to go with Jesus or the angels if they came to get her. I told her that I had planned for her to move to Puerto Vallarta with us but God seemd to have other ideas.
She was non responsive but was moaning as if to try to say something. I kept holding her hand and kissing and hugging her. My SIL said a beautiful prayer over her and then they left. I was going to spend the night with mom, so she wouldn’t be alone. At 10:40 pm she breathed her last breath and her life stopped. She waited for me to get there before she died.

I cried a bit (I’d been crying all day) but was relieved that she wasn’t in any pain or discomfort anymore. We waited for the doctor to pronounce her then for the funeral home to pick her up. It’s 2:30 am and I’m just going to bed. I’m emotionally wiped out. 😴
(12)
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So many supporting you on Mom's final journey.....
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Peace and comfort for all...
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Prayers, Sue. Thinking of you. Too much to process. May you and your mum have peace,
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This is so much to handle. Prayers for your travel and comforting thoughts for what you're experiencing.
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Sue,

My heart goes out to you and your family. You’re in my prayers.
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Prayers for peace for all of you
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(((((((hugs)))))))) dear Sue!
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12:30 pm PT
Since I can’t get there til 8:30 pm tonight, they put the phone to mom’s ear. She’s out of it and has a death rattle. She was moaning. The end is near. I wish my stomach would stop spasming.

My prayer is for God to make her comfortable, no pain and no difficulty, whether or not I get there before she passes. Her comfort is more important than my last words.
I told her that I love her and, if Jesus comes, it’s Okay to go with Him. We’ll be alright here.

Heartbreaking!

I called my son to tell him grandma doesn’t have much longer. He was very sorry and humble. Then he tells me his girlfriend is pregnant!!!!!!
I couldn’t even respond. 😲 At least he said it’s time to grow up and figure out how to support the child.

I AM OVERWHELMED!
(8)
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Sue more ((((((((hugs)))))))). I know this is shocking to you. Hope you make it, but... we don't have any control over these things. Life can change so quickly. Deep breaths!!!
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Stay the course.
Then, it is okay to not be okay.

It will be enough to be at her side, hope you make it on time.

So sorry for your grief.
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I'm sorry to hear of your mother's condition. You've done your best, but, I would ask if staying put would make her more comfortable as she is so fragile now. I knew someone who was diagnosed with lung cancer and literally left hospital, got home and was immediately transported to Hospice center, where she died the next day. It was totally shocking. Cancer and dementia are so cruel. Prayers for you and your family. Please provide an update when and if you can.
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Oh Sue! ((( Hugs))))) I hope they're wrong.
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