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I did very well on my first day, and now sleep. I didn't do the fun things yet, but I prepped for the fun things, so now I'm ready to do them later this week! Great day. :)
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Hey M2M, thanks for starting this thread. Hope you're still doing reasonably well with regard to your mom's passing Saturday.

I have a celebration to share. :) Or, the start of one. It's a sunny, spring Monday morning here and I am up and at it for MYSELF and MY LIFE fully for first time in a long time. There's still a few things outstanding and will be ongoing detachment/boundaries needed but my dad lives a whole state away, is in a safe place, and is in others' care now. I really, really want to go after my life now. So -- where to start?

I'm not going to make job stuff a priority this week (though I do have to make a few contacts) and instead do a Re-entry To A Self Caring Life. Juicing, a little jogging, light gym routine, tanning (yes, why not), and all out at the salon (whatever beautifying, relaxing, and nice things I can think to do for myself).

That's what I want to do this week, for myself, to remind myself that I matter. I need to post it here so I can come back and make myself accountable to tell you guys how much I cared about MYSELF this coming week. Here's to MEEEEEE. lol (That would sound so self absorbed coming from anyone except a caregiver who just got out of "jail" lol).
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(((((((candi)))))) - time for you!

My celebration is that I had a very good refreshing sleep last night. CFS/FM makes you overly sensitive to light, noise etc. I had the TV off most of the day, and partially closed the venetian blinds. Trying that again today!
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Welcome candi,

My dear you have come to the right place - where is your husband when his father is on the floor or needs a shower ?

Although it is the middle of the night there are plenty of night owls among us

Please start your own post with a question and I'm sure you'll see some helpful replies
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If I dont start celebrating something it could be my end. I have gained 60 pounds in 2 years. I have been a caregiver for 10 to my widower father in law. I cant do it any more. I have known I have been at the end for years, but cant bring myself to divorce. I am hospitalized every year for something not in my age group. I began caregiving at 37 when my 72 year old father in law had a stroke. I am 47 now. I have had pneumonia countless times, pulmonary embolism, chronic migraines, gallbladder surgery, hepatitis (unexplained & hasnt returned). 2 back surgeries. My surgeon doesnt think it is from picking my father in law up off the floor multiple times when he lost the use of one hand in the stroke and he weighs 220. So invalidating. I am not saying it was from picking him up lopsidedly from the floor, Shower and such, but to be dismissed killed me. Anyway. My aim was to seek something positive for me. Becasue in 10 years it has never been about me. I need to take care of me and this is my first step.
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I was recently in contact with TWO of my old friends! Very nice. We are getting together soon.

My LO is coming along fine in MC. Her spirits are excellent!

And......I have now lost 25 pounds! I may not be down to bikini weight by summer, but, definitely some cute shorts!
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Seeing my colleagues celebrate Star Wars day May 4th was fun. Everyone had Star Wars t-shirt and one had a cute R2D2 slippers. I'm looking forward to celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Look forward to getting a taco with chorizo. One of my favorites.
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Bringing this thread back up

Mom let a caregiver give her a shower tonight !
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Got mom to the podiatrist and despite her cussing the poor woman out she didn't kick
Her as she threatened to do
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Cwillie - congrats on the great auntie!

Jeanne, glad the leg is better!

For me:
Celebration: the taxes are done! Mine were completed at almost zero hour last night, but they're done, filed, accepted by the IRS and on time. That's all I care about. Did Mom's final return as well. One more "final" thing done for her after her passing. Now I just have to get this house mess handled.

Our yard guy came and mowed today for the first time this season. I thought he was coming tomorrow and didn't get the doggie landmines cleaned up in time. Oops. Good thing he's a friend and understanding. Makes it truly seem like spring when the mowing starts.
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Celebrating!!! My taxes filed and mailed.
Maybe not so brilliantly, but by next year, maybe I can learn more.
SIX DAYS, it took six days!
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Snail mail? That's my speed too!
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Yay for you MsMadge.
Monday is a good day for me.....do taxes or die.....

It's been awhile-somewhere in the back of my mind,  I recall a State of CA form to sign and file...or does the IRS take care of if?  Was so spoiled before, sign here, the tax atty. did the rest.  I've got this-well, I have doubts, but I can find out, there is still time.  Brilliant, I can become brilliant overnight!  No worries, refund expected.....
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Got tax returns mailed yesterday - yay!
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My leg doesn't hurt today! (I've been dealing with sciatica for three weeks.)
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I'm gonna be a Great Auntie!
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Today the weather is glorious, at least it's glorious for April! ( temp high 60's F) Despite worries that it was "too cold" I managed to get mom out the door and took her for a cruise to the the local park and back, bundled up in a heavy jacket and swaddled in a blanket. She said it was a nice change. Hurrah!
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Celebrating that caregivers have this forum to come and figure things out. It is so much harder, and so confusing when elder age and decline happens to your own family. Myself, I just wanted to help others, and received help and caring too!
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Income is a good thing. Advanced pre-paid income is even better! imo.
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Thanks, Send! I'm doing some deep thinking here about this...leaning towards doing it, simply because I really need the extra income right now, and it would help a lot, but the thought of working with her again stresses me out a bit. But, to be honest, most of the stress was due to her late or non-payment of invoices - I had to stop work until she paid, almost every single month. It was ridiculous. If I do this, she's going to have to stick to the retainer agreement and pre-pay every month, or this won't work.
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Congratulations Susan!
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Hm. Another possibly celebratory moment today. Am I allowed two in one day? LOL

The "problem child" client I recently eliminated resurfaced in my email inbox today, asking if I would come back to work with her, promising she'd sign my contract and pay in advance every month. I have some thinking to do. I could definitely use the extra income right now, with the house needing a roof and some required travel coming up this summer....but this client used to stress me out *so much*. I'll have to do some deep thinking about this one, but it's a good opportunity. I can do her work with my eyes closed, almost, so there's no learning curve involved. Hmmmm.....
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Small celebration today, hopefully leading to a larger one.

DD got a letter in the mail yesterday from the local housing commission, indicating she was nearing the top of the wait list. Must be the last cull they did of the wait list was larger than normal, with people having already found other housing or just not responding to their letter, so she was bumped up several spots. Last month, she was in the high 30s on the list, so we fully expected it would be several months before she even heard from them. This letter was a welcome surprise. She's let them know she's definitely still looking for housing, so hopefully after the middle of the month, she'll know more about a time frame. Not looking forward to the move, because I know that's going to fall on me, possibly with some help from brother and nephews, but will be so happy to have them in their own place so I can get back to a somewhat normal life.
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AloBoBali, Mom takes a cranberry pill every day plus whatever cranberry juice we can get in her. I was going to send in a sample for testing but she is back to normal (her new normal, at least) so I am thinking it was low blood sugar.
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M2M, I'm SO glad you got away and had a wonderful time, despite Mom's attempt to derail things! (We know she didn't mean to, obviously, but these things always happen at the worst possible times, don't they!) You were so smart to realize that someone else could handle it and continue your trip.
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M2M, so glad you were able to get away for a very nice time, sorry about your mom's condition. Do you think much of the idea of giving her a small amount of cranberry juice (the real stuff, the bitter stuff) to ward off UTIs? I did that with great success with my dad. He went from having them every 3-6 months to none since the "cranberry juice regimen."  

Anyway, so glad you got to get away for such a fun day! Very nice!
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I got away for the day and no-one died!!!

Everything fell into place for me to take a quick trip to the Epcot Flower and Garden Show this past Sat. The flight loads were ridiculously low (I fly stand by so this was crucial) My son (14) needed money and said he would watch Mom for the day. I asked him several times if he was sure he could handle her and he said yes.

I set off to the airport at 5:30 AM (an hour drive), arrived at the park at Noon. Ate my way around World Showcase. Almost decided to leave my family for a Raspberry Macaroon near France. Fell in love with a Lamb Chop. Met my niece and her husband for drinks. Found out she is pregnant - couldn't be more excited for them. Made it home by 1:30AM. I walked 11 miles, according to fitbit.

On the negative, Mom was a hot mess in the morning and Dh had to help DS get her up. He said she was speaking Greek only and was not able to do anything for herself. DS was afraid to take her to the bathroom because he feared that she would fall. Suspecting a UTI flareup, I told them to call 911 and ship her off to the hospital and I would pick her up when I got back. I decided not to cut my one day trip short and have no guilt about it.

They ended up calling one of her daytime caregivers who happened to be close by. She came over and helped and all was well without an ambulance ride.

Mom was much improved yesterday so I am now suspecting low blood sugar rather than UTI.
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M2M, how exciting!! We expect a full report when you get back, chickie!
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I am celebrating everything falling into place for a good day tomorrow. DS (14) is getting paid to watch Mom tomorrow. DH will be home in case there is something DS can't handle and her regular caregiver will be down the street in case there is something that neither of them can handle.

Flights loads are ridiculously low so lots of empty seats on the plane there and back for this standby girl.

It is all in place for me to go to EPCOT for the day for the Flower and Garden Festival.

I have already picked my snack choices from the 15 food booths. I am ready!!!
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Little celebration today....

Starting to make progress on the MERP mess so I can get this house settled, one way or the other. I feel that they're probably going to go for deferral, which means I can keep the house until I die, or sell it and give the money to the state and have to start over from scratch. Not happy about that, but not much I can do. I just want to get it done and over with so I can move on with my life, whichever direction it takes.

Found out I don't have to pay $400 for an appraisal, which is a huge relief. I can get a CMA done by a real estate agent for free, and the MERP office will accept it. Yay!
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