I am 39. My spouse is 50. He recently suffered a diabetes related illness that has left me in a caregivers role. Any advice from vets would be so appreciated. This is very new and a little overwhelming. Trying to help him while manage my emotions surrounding the fact of choices that were made that lead to his illness. I hope that doesn't sound bad, but it's a struggle, and my in-laws, his 4 sisters, expect me to monitor and take care of his every move- even though there is nothing intellectually wrong with him. How do you balance spouse and caregiver without having your spouse think you are treating them as a child? This is for illnesses where the person is capable of Caring for him or herself, but chooses not to. Also, how do you have conversations about self-care? He has incontinence issues that cause him to defecate on himself, and the smell has wrecked havoc on our house. It is making me physically I'll. Any tips on dealing with smells and an incontinent loved one would be greatly appreciated.