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I need some emotional support. I think my Mother is OC, abusive, maybe some bipolar (Mom had a sister who was severe bipolar or just plain cruel) to everyone in the family. Mom has dimentia, but I don't know what kind.

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I think unless you have a real diagnosis, you might consider "just plain mean" as a symptom and take her to the doctor. Urinary Tract Infections (UTI) and other illnesses can first present as behavioral problems....

I know it is hard to not search for a reason and labels are handy, but seriously have her evaluated first. Each person is unique - could be she has cavities and her teeth (or dentures) hurt - the list is endless.

Rule out the physical first before you turn to anything psychological. The only person who can make a diagnosis of any mental illness is a physician, who can in turn help you understand what your options are. At the same time, you might ask about screening for depression or anxiety - two of the worst things that happen to caregivers with parents in their direct care.

As far as your state of mind goes, remember that sometimes it is a real stress reliever to go outside in the sun, and to laugh / exercise. Although it is hard, the more you think about the insults or bad behavior the more you will reinforce your own emotions about them. Walk away - use the Jackie Marcell emotional shield and watch a funny movie or talk to a friend. If you have a pet give it a hug or take it for a walk!

Dwelling on the negative can put you into a depressed state and you won't be able to take any action.
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Sally, OC? I have similar concerns regarding my mom. It is often difficult to pinpoint things, even with the help of a physician, but worth trying. Take your time, and keep a journal of your observations. It will help you sort things, because it can be quite a journey. Wishing you the best...
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Hello Sally, you've certainly come to the right place for some support!! First take a deep breath! I've come to realize that there are no right or wrong answers. You need to do what YOU can. What is it that you can do right now? Don't worry about everything all at once. If you did that then I'm sure it feels like you're getting no where. Do you live with your mom or does she live with you? Alone? Have you personally spoken with her Dr? What do they say? Her sister might have been "just plain cruel", but everyone is different. When you look at your mom, try not to think of her sister. Your mom might feel confused and not know whats going on so might lash out at people. Its common, but its how WE handle the result of it.

There are around 10 types of Dementia. Dementia symptoms can also be caused by an infection. So first, get the advice of a doctor!
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