Caregiving for mom makes me depressed more than ever...

To Fran and all you wonderful caregivers;

Please do take good care of yourselves as a priority!!!

Caregiving exacts a huge toll due to the daily emotional, mental, physical and financial stress involved. It literally drains your life away if are not careful! Stayed away from alcohol and meds, finding intense exercise a few times a week really alleviates both pent up physical plus emotional tension to maintain some balance.

Believe we as caregivers have to mitigate caring too much plus over extending ourselves beyond what is healthy. If we are "broken" then we cannot properly provide care to our loved one(s). Do make time for yourself, go out for a quiet meal, a stroll, a movie, the company of friends, a hobby, or anything as a break from caregiving duties. It is not selfish to do so, rather, it is a necessity!!! Doing so allows us to function better as caregivers.

If the toll of being a caregiver has led to depression, thoughts of suicide, alcohol or drug dependency, then please realize a caregiver simply cannot continue. It is not the lack of love or effort to continue providing care, but simply continuing to sacrifice your well being will not make your loved one better!

Perhaps I wrote this also to convince myself as well......Thank you all for sharing.

Take care and be well.

I take 75 mg of doxepin per day. The first few days i was very drowsy and slept alot then that wore off and i felt like a normal person again. it's a very old drug,safe and non-addictive. 7 members of my family t
take doxepin. all for anxiety depression and panic attacks. you may need to block out some time for you to rework your meds. it's okay to baby the anxiety until the meds are adjusted. i also take 20 mg of citalopram because most panic patients also have some level of depression. screw the childhood issues...they are wasting your time and money. a physical illness cannot be cured with conversation. i'm so glad that i got to talk to you.

The drugs are both very cheap too!

Dear fyarsly,
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I too felt that exact way for about two years. For your depression and suicidal thoughts, I urge you deeply to see a psychiatrist and get medication. I am. If you feel that you have no motivation to do even that, pray to God to give you the motivation that you need. If you ask with all honesty and humbleness, He, the Lord will help you. The Lord knows you and your problem more than you know it. You quit your job to take care of your Mom, now that is so self-less and loving, please give yourself some credit. I too felt that way, didn't want to wake up in the morning, didn't even want to go to sleep at night, lost all my appetite, lost all interest in things that once gave me thrills, etc.....
Do you have the finances to hire in-home caregiving help maybe like 3x a week for 4-5 hours so that you can go out and do whatever makes you happy? Anything that gets you out of the house is perfect. You need to get away from Mom to keep yourself in good shape. If you do not take care of yourself physically and emotionally, you are no good to anyone if you crash and get sick, and sick you will get if you don't do something right now!!!!. I will be praying for you.

So many wonderful, selfless caregivers here. So many hurting in the process. We need to care for ourselves first before we have anything to give to the loved ones we are caring for. One cannot refresh someone else by giving them drink from an empty glass! Problem is that many of us have drained ourselves so completely we do not know where to start making ourselves complete and worthwhile people again, hang in with one another, there's lot of help in this site.
Hey lefaucon - good to hear how upbeat you are. Done any biking yet?

I feel the same way, I am the only one caring for my mother and I do get depressed. Twice a month for 8-9 hrs I have visiting angels come in and I leave for the day to do something for myself. Also, I have a very good male friend that I talk with on the phone everyday several times, he is funny and keeps me going. My husband does'nt support me at all. Thank goodness for a good friend!