All I can feel is loneliness...Guilt from self pitty and confusion. My social worker says when my husband passes I will be a wash of emotions. Grief, guilt (I could never make him happy even after 41 years of marriage as he never got over his first wives death & lived in the past.) , relief , fear etc. his needs are overwhelming as he has dementia as well as many serious health issues . I have help come in 7 hours a week. But by the time I get my husband in bed I'm exhausted & need time alone to rest, pray & get my head together. How can I prepare for his death & do better today handling his care. We have two dogs my husband loves . I can't leave my husband alone even long enough to walk them. They are full of energy & a nightmare when people come. One respite care girl says we need to get rid of them. They are a lot of work & stress. Not an option. I'm depressed every morning & hate to face the day. I'm failing the lord with this attitude.