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It can kill you. I am 49, have absolutely no problems with blood sugar, high blood pressure or my weight. Yet I had a SCAD heart attack a month ago and I know in my gut it is from the stress of caring for my parents since 2015. My father first for 7 years with his kidney failure and when he passed my mom's Alzheimer's went from frustrating to a rapid decline into hell. I read somewhere a high percentage of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. I don't know if that is a fact but from my experience I would not be surprised. I can't think of anything that has been more difficult for me to do in my entire life. 24/7 365 I am always worrying about her. I love her so much and this cruel disease is capable of taking more than just the life of the sufferer.

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Yes, the percentage of caregivers who die before the ones they are caring for is pretty significant. I think it's close to 40%. We do undergo a lot of stress which our bodies just can't handle sometimes. I worry that I might go before my husband who has undiagnosed dementia. Hard to live with, he also has several other physical issues and doesn't follow all of the doctor's orders, so it's really stressful.
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My mom is in a memory care facility which I am so grateful for but I still consider myself to be a caregiver because I am there every day and I help her with her shower and I clean her room every day because she is like a human tornado - I don't know how she manages to make such a mess every single day. If anyone can explain how she can have #2 on the outside of her toilet and on the walls and rugs so often, please let me know! She also is a klepto who steals every glass full of red Kool-Aid she can get her hands on and stashed the cups everywhere. In drawers and under her bed. She can gather 10 cups a day and half of them are still full but the other half she spills all over the place. I almost wonder if she is doing that purposely because there are so many red stains in so many places. She also hoards food in her bathroom which is awful and so gross which is why I have to clean her room every day. The workers would clean it but I see how thin they are spread so I do not ever want to add to their workload. I also do her laundry etc. It was so much harder when she was home so I realize how much stress was lifted off of me but i still am thinking about her and worrying and trying to make her as content as she possibly can be in this situation. Every day is a struggle. And I remember feeling like I was putting my mom in what seemed like prison when I had to move her in but it is nothing like that. That was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life but it was the best thing for her. I have a sister and we make sure that one of us sees her every single day and most days she will get 2 visits. She doesn't know my name or that I am her daughter but she definitely knows that she knows me when i walk in. If i didn't go every day, I would lose that connection and I am trying to hold on to that for as long as I possibly can. She is down to maybe 8 questions that she asks me over and over and over and over at this point. There is no changing the subject anymore. "What happened to me? I used to be smart. Is God mad at me? Why did this happen to me? I didn't drink." I answer back no God doesn't give diseases it just happens to a lot of people. This isn't your fault. And you are still smart your brain just can't remember anymore. 5 seconds later my mom asks me the same exact questions. I hate this disease so much. It is so cruel and the torture lasts for years. Torture for the sufferers and their families. I feel awful but I pray that my mom doesn't live long enough to get to that stage of the other residents. I feel so bad that I would pray for that but I am being honest. This started in 2015, I got her to a neurologist in 2020 and she told me that the damage to her brain was shocking because she was only 70 in 2020 and she would expect that kind of damage in someone 80 or 90 years old. I fear dying before her. I see how much this has affected my sister too. I think I have aged 50 years since 2020.
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Time to place Mom in a care facility if finacially possible using your mothers money or apply Mom for Medicaid.
You’ve done enough.
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So why do you keep on with it? Care facilities are not the cheerless uncaring places that people claimed they were (if they ever were, that is). Professional caregivers have skills that you don't have, and they are paid to be kind, cheerful, sympathetic and skillful in their field.

Place mom. Good luck in finding the perfect place!
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This is exceptionally well said.
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I know someone who had a heart attack and died while she was the sole caregiver to both parents with dementia. They ended up in a nursing home anyway when that happened.
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Time to place your Mom. You have had a sign and the next time you may not be so lucky. Its time to think of you. Mentally, your Mom is not with you anymore.
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