Some of you know me. I am the primary caregiver for a 65 year old vibrant woman that is in a later stage of Alzheimer's. The daughter decided about 4 weeks ago to have the DIL (Daughter in law) help on monday's, because (she needed the money). I met the daughter in law, and now I realize why the daughter stated at the very beginning that she wouldn't ever allow her to watch her mother. Well, we all know that blood is thicker than water, but I have continued to go above and beyond, and the DIL state, "what do you do with her all day", I proceeded to name every activity that I have created (dancing, singing, painting, at the local senior centers).
Knowing that she wants (the daughter) me to be a very positive part of her mother's live, I have done some research on what the DIL can do with her Mother in law (the DIL is 6 month's pregnant), and the Daughter and I are now on excellent terms. She has written me a fabulous letter of recommendation if and when the mother goes into Assisted Living.
Moral of my story: For those of you whom are paid givers (I have been both), hang in there. The daughter is only 30, and has a lot on her shoulders, and I have a large lending ear, as I am 54, and I have a mother with Alzheimer's at age 87. I get it, I understand, I get the 5 year loopback for medicaid.
So remember, one bad day does not mean the entire situation has to end. This is a very financially secure job for me and the daughter realizes that without me, her mother would be sitting watching judge judy. Instead, she has a group of friends at the Senior Center and looks forward to every day we are together.
Patience . . . That is why most of us got into this business, to care for, lend an ear, and yes sometimes things don't always go our way, but I actually enjoy that one day off, and have filled it with something totally different. :-) Blessings to all of you.