Greetings all. I’ve found this site by simply Googling - “my elderly mother is driving me crazy”! I’ve also found some of the forum messages hugely relieving knowing how I feel is not uncommon.
I suppose that the feelings we have at caring for recalcitrant older parent(s) is a shared thing, although common, not common to us as individuals.
Here in Australia, and where I care for my mum, we have similar set ups for aged care. Residential villages (where my mum lives), and later assisted living - or nursing homes, although this latter term is being less used because of its connotations.
I don’t like my mother - I love her as a mother, what she’s done for me over the years (my dad died in 1997) and bailed me out of trouble. But as a person, she is the type I’d prefer not to mix with.
I have no siblings, but I have an understanding wife. Thank God. I’ve had to organise in home care - that was a struggle as our Government has turned aged care and support into an industry. Is that the same in the USA?
Do I resent doing this - well, that’s a yes and no actually.
The smallest things upset mum - the home carer turning up late (due to traffic), or not showing up at all (despite an attempted phone call to mum from the provider of the service). All these things confound her. And of course, as only son/carer, I get the full brunt of all her complaints.
But what I am writing here is no new news to you, the reader.
But it is like therapy to hear similar tales, and perhaps even more extreme parental behaviour, to know I’m not alone.
And that, is a relief.