Oh God.... No respect, run ragged, used, etc.
I have sent notes before about my situation regarding my dad in hospital ( 3 months now) and my mother still at home, when she SHOULD be in a care facility.
I received a very upsetting phone call from a nurse at the hospital were my dad is telling me he wasn't doing very well and he will be on strong antibiotics due to a lung infection and to be prepared because of his advancing age and mounting medical issues. I panicked !!!! Told my husband we HAD to go to the hospital in the morning and see him. I hardly slept at all that night not knowing what to expect.
My dad had given me POA because he could no longer do any of his own banking and other errands that NEVER end. I got a hold of the Notary that first drew up the original document for the POA and had them upgraded to EPOA to protect my parents home. There has been many realtors that target elderly people to coerce them into selling there homes for far less than the value of the property. My mother is almost 95 and I didn't want her to be a victim of these charlatans. She met me at the hospital and talked to my dad and tried to explain to him this is VERY important to do this. It will give me more power to make decisions. He signed the documents. Now, he thinks I am the bad guy and he thinks the Notary is trying to get her hands on his nest egg. Wrong... she has nothing to do with it. It's legal document to protect them. He has laid around in the hospital and the staff can hardly do anything with him because he just won't co-operate. When I visit him he tells me to leave after about an hour. I drive for 4 plus hours return trips to see him and check on my mother. I call my mom at least 4 times a week and him as well because there is a remote phone for patients to use.
I am often told that I need to set boundaries with my parents and put myself ahead of them because they have had there lives. In the past 3 months I have lost 19 lbs. and I won't need to colour my hair any more because my hair is turned so white from stress.
I have a duty to care for them but my health is going down the toilet. I work full time and I'm trying to keep up my own home and take care of all there needs.
Am I being selfish? Was changing the POA a bad idea? I don't know what to do anymore. I am an only child and at times I wish that I had not been born. I'm just worn out, frustrated and the list goes on and on......
Thanks for listening,