There is a a wonderful caregiver discussion thread going in "I NEED SOME MOTIVATIONAL ADVICE" posted to this website. In that discussion thread, MrEldercare posed the following question to me:
"Thanks, Sunshine. Your heartfelt views are therapeutic and uplifting to overstressed caregivers. How do you keep that sunshine in your world when you've carried the caregiving load? Is it a natural disposition or something you developed within you over time? Elizabeth Blackwell's study on the cellular impact of stress (She's at the University of California San Diego I think) shows it's not the stress of caregiving per se but how a caregiver views the demands causes the harm. Sharing how you keep yourself motivated could unlock the door to a better life for others on this board."
I will post a reply to MrEldercare's question as the first reply to this post for anyone who may be interested and would love hearing from others as well.
As in life, disagreements are not the end of the world as some caregivers seem to believe, and it's not about me in the end. If Mom says she is not going to the doctor, I eventually counter with a lighthearted, "You will go f I have to shove you in the derriere, right out the door when we arrive at your doctor's office! That always brings laughter and more wise cracks from both of us. In the end, it is about patient advocacy and affording our loved ones the right to live and come to the end of their lives in the manner that they, not their physicians, see fit. Physicians are partners in caring