My dad has been living with me for 9 years. We have never been paid a dime for taking care of him and he has alzheimers for the past two years. We pay for some of his expenses out of our own money such as cable and water and gas to get all his groceries. can we come back to the estate after his passing and get paid for all that we did to help him live a peaceful and happy life. My wife and I both work and have given up a great deal of our lives and time to take care of my dad and no family members help us at all. They complain and moan about where the money is and the POA complains if we ask for money to pay for dads items. We love our dad and want the best for him and to make him comfortable but we do feel that other siblings should not be entitled to the money at the end. We cannot use the funds to put him in AL as the POA won't authorize it and the POA will also not pay for a caregiver to come in during the days we work to help dad bathe and eat and get his meds. We just want to know if anyone has ever heard of the estate being sued by the caregiver and if the caregiver has a right to any of the funds.
It's not an easy conversation to initiate. But she'd better.
I honestly don't know, w/o doing some extensive legal research, whether a caregiver lien could be filed, but certainly not without a foundation agreement addressing breach of contract.
Another issue would be whether the contract was oral or written, terms of payment, breach of contract issues and remediation, and more.
I'm not necessarily disagreeing with CM, who always gives wise advice, but rather stating that this could be a complex issue. But CM does raise some important issues, and that's the relationship between the two, and what will happen to the caregiving sister after the other sister dies.
There may be some way to include a provision in the will that the caregiving sister has a choice of remaining in the home so she doesn't become homeless, which would be a tragedy after caring for her sister for years.
So. Assuming home owner sister is of sound mind, she can do as she pleases with her property and is by no means obliged to leave her estate to her son. Does she understand and appreciate what position she is leaving her caregiver sister in? Does she recognise caregiver sister's efforts financially in any way?
Home has been willed to her only son who is well off and lives across the country.
Can younger sister put lien on property for caregiver services?
After reading this post, I am so happy that my Mom 91yrs. has me listed as her MPOA and financial POA, she been with me for 12yrs. and I would have let the one in control take over a long time ago...
I agree with you. Your Dad needs the best care NOW, not what could of or should of happen in the future. No one knows what can happen in the future but God. And your Dad needs the help now. Should unexpected things pop up [and they will, believe me] in the future, you deal with that when it happens.
You must live in the present and deal with things in the present, not what if this, or what if that. No one can predict how dementia will turn out in the future, it can stay the same, get worse, or even with medication, it can be stablilized [shortened and with more mental clarity, but not cured.]
Your love for your Dad and wanting to care for him at home is the most honorable and loving thing to do and your Uncle is not appreciating that....is he only thinking of himself and is just ignorant of the facts? A state funded facility will be way more expensive even if your Dad does have the money and must leave your home--about $10,0000 a month in my state. Gosh, is your Dad a millionaire? I doubt it. Who can afford that? Why is your Uncle expecting if your Dad goes into an AL [nursing home you mean or assisted living?] it will be cheaper than compensating you NOW and keeping him at home under your care. Even AL will be far more expensive than caring properly for your Dad at home with you. You are the one willing to care for Dad at home and not him.
Why will your other siblings inherit all of the money and not allow you to be an inheritor too? As I said before, a financial POA doesn't necessarily mean that that person will inherit all of the money or property. Did your Dad make a living will [trust]? If he did, it should legally say what he wanted done with his monies and property: who gets what, who is POA when he is still alive [and sick] or passed, etc....Please try and speak to the attorney that your Dad worked with about the details of your Dad's estate and making Uncle POA. I do beleive you have the right to do that--HE IS YOUR DADDY!
Why should brother care if Dad is in a state funded facility? He doesn't lift a finger to help Dad or you now, why should he then?
Yes, its YOUR DAD'S money and he should recieve the best care NOW with you, not what if this, what if that. You are the one in the trenches, you have a say and rights. . You have a BIG SAY AND BIG RIGHTS.
So sorry, I thought you were asking me that question. But after I realized that you were asking Anonomys1 the question and not me.
But again, just because a person is the designated POA [executor the estate/trust] doesn't necessarily have to mean that that particular person will inherit everything from their parents. It all depends on how the parents designed the trust/estate with the attorney--as my Daddy did.
My brother and not my uncle is the executor [financial POA] of my parents trust. Daddy did this with his attorney long before he passed. No, my brother does not inherit all of my parents trust/estate once they both pass, he has only the right to manage it [monies, house, etc....]once they pass, or even before when they both got sick within a month of each other. My parents made it with the attorney so that the three of us siblings inherit equally whatever is left in the trust and the house also. Hope this helps.....
43,780 for care since July 2003.
8,200 for money we have paid out of our pocket for cable, phone water/sewage and meals since July, 2003.
That does not include what we did not money we lost because we could not rent the unit as it's a duplex and dad lives on the first floor which comes to about 37,000 for all those years of no rent.
Total for all these items as of today is $87,160.00.
Your uncle's concerns are ridiculous. If your father exhausts his funds, he will be eligible for Medicaid coverage if he needs a skilled nursing home. Your uncle's mental image of a 'state home' is hopelessly outdated. Many private nursing facilities accept Medicaid. And, in our county, the 'county home' has one of the best reputations around.
Brace yourself for the yammering of your money-hungry siblings. It may be unavoidable. Remember, they're not offering to care for dad. Remind them who's been caring for him for the last nine years and ask them to tally up THEIR expenses for that care.
January. It would just be a lump sum check and then every month after that the regular monthly amount. Sometimes if an assisted living facility knows that they qualify for Veteran's aid they will give you a reduced rate until the money comes in. Then you can pay the rest of what you owe them from the lump sum. Sometimes if the situation is explained they are willing to work with you. Please apply, he really deserves it. Sometime you can ask an officer at the VA to help you go over the form before you send it in. Down here there is an attorney that charges like $5000 to file for you, but he guarantees that you will get it, or he will return the fee, and he includes in the fee the reapplying for it every year for the next three years. Look for an elder care attorney, or one that is certified by the VA. Your dad could also revoke his power of attorney from his brother, and then give it to you. Usually this can be down by tearing it up and filling out a new notarized power of attorney and filing it at the County Courthouse. Then you would take it to the banks, and get your Father's brother off the accounts etc. Hope this helps.
POA = executor of your Dad's estate. That can be changed easily-need the attorney, your Dad's willingness and signature. Is your Dad capable of reasoning about this situation and understanding how your uncle is abusing his position as POA? Maybe you can talk to the lawyer yourself in private. I agree with all those who have responded to you above but have not read anything about someone being the Medical POA. So who has the Medical POA? That is different from being an executor [financial part] of your Dad's estate. For instance, my brother has financial POA and is executor of my parents estate, but I have Medical POA and only I have the right to make decisions on my Mom's medical care [where she goes, what treatment she needs, etc...]should anything need to be changed or anything like that. Because I am the one who was in the trenches as primary CG, I have the MPOA. Daddy passed just this past May. My brother and sister are the best in the world, and brother compensates me every month for all the work I do from the trust itself. Your uncle should be doing the exact same thing. There is help out there as the others said above, you just have to do your homework. It will be well worth it in the end. I also have worked with the VA and there are a lot of forms to fill out. But all you need are the proper forms, your Dad's discharge papers, Medicare RX prescriptions that your Dad has been taking, etc....of whatever else they require, get the ball rolling on this......he can be compensated. Your Dad deserves that. He fought for our country and the VA can help you even if it may take months. Just get the ball rolling as soon as you can. God bless you.
HOWEVER, you really must address this situation with the POA. As everyone has stated, he does not have the right to withhold the money needed for your dad's care. In fact, making sure your dad's needs are met is exactly his primary responsibility.
Please contact him today, tell him what care arrangement you have decided upon, what it will cost and when and where he will need to send payments. If he refuses, tell him you will have no choice but to proceed with contacting adult protective services.
Also, you should invest in a visit with an elder law attorney. You should be compensated for the care you provide, particularly since the rest of the family is not making any contribution (monetary or labor) to caring for your dad.
What is the POA's motive for refusing to pay?? Is he the sole beneficiary of your father's estate?
Your dad's brother is not caring for your dad, you are. The money doesn't belong to your uncle, it belongs to your dad and should be used for his care and living expenses, including Al or SNF, if needed.
Yes, there have been occasions where caregivers have sued the estate but I wouldn't wait for that. I would seek the help of an elderlaw attorney to help you get funds to help care for your Dad safely. Yes, there will be an initial expense but that expense may actually come out of your father's estate if the attorney is able to either convince the POA or win a case in court.
Caregivers can receive salaries and compensation for their expenses paid from the care recipient's estate. The lawyer can set that up for you. If the POA is a "public guardian", this may be a bit more difficult but still easier than suing the estate after your father passes.
Thanks for your dedication,
Shelley Webb RN
Geriatric Care Manager