Caregiver Olympics - Any Event Suggestions?

This post has given the laugh I needed to end my day - hilarious!!

How about counting the times you tell them something and they have that far away look in their eyes and you know they didn't understand a word you said. You repeat your sentence, only now you use a bull horn ten feet from them.

nap marathon who can get from point a to point b when they call

How about the negativity rant endurance test.... Enduring the onslaught of negativity from the elder, one sentence after another, complaints, criticisms, injustices, etc., nonstop for periods of at least a half an hour at a time, without getting a stiff neck and shoulders or a headache. Knitting ones eyebrows during the rant gets deducted points.

Oh! What about who can run the fastest to unplug the weed whacker from the outlet on the patio while the elder is busy at the other end of the yard, whacking imaginery weeds, while draping the extension cord just inches above the water across the pool. This race requires that you don't distract the elder, who may let the slack in the cord drop into the water, and requires that you grab the cord and hold it up before unplugging it to maintain the gap between the cord and the water. You will be running a distance of about 20 feet from the yard gate to the outlet, will have to fling several full shopping bags and a purse in order to perform said feat with free hands. While unplugging, you must be able to swing the cord onto the cool decking before elder turns around, confused that the power is off. This can be an exciting event. It should only be done once. The weedwhacker must be removed from the residence after just one race.

I would like to add to Judy's event.... Please do not attempt to do this at home. the performance you just watched was performed by a professional stunt..oops..caregiver!

On an international competition level how about the wheelchair fly and dive event? -- during a famlily trip I borrowed a wheelchair at the Miro Museum in Barcelona a few years ago and thought we were going to take a quiet stroll though a fine museum looking at great art. The wheelchair's handlelbars came off as we were at the top of a long downward ramp which ended at a giant plate glass window, with two stories down to the sculpture garden. I had to sprint after the wheelchair which was flying down the ramp with my mother in it... and I made a dive and grabbed the handles right before she crashed through the window. She didn't say anything, so I figured she might now have been aware of the situation, until we returned the chair, and I explained to the supervisor that the handles were unsafe, and she piped up "Si, muy peligroso..." So we had a good laugh....

Stephan, never underestimate a mom!

Caregiver sprints: Since you are going to be needed any moment, how fast can you:
1) eat
2)sleep
3) well basically, how fast can you do anything?
This event is training for the next competition:
Most number of assistance requests responded to by caregiver within a given time

Pulling up person in bed or in chair. Mine likes to constantly pick up things. I find her sitting on the floor, and then I need to pull her up all the way.

Yes - i's like a standing deadlift -- my variation was having to do it with a person with a broken arm. Almost called 911, then figured out how to lift (from the knees) gently using a luggage strap. Quite an adventure.

can you cook a meal "on time" (her time) before she decides that she isn't hungry and doesn't want to eat?
* caregiver must be ready for unexpected demand for supper "now"
* try not to let her know what you are preparing so she cannot say she doesn't like it.
* keep it simple but colourful and tasteful without spices
* get it onto her prepared at the table and serve food while still hot enough.
* bonus points if she actually eats it.

Hi I'm calling to see if you can send my mother an application for elderly subsidized housing. Research,repeat. Then the filling out of the forms while mother is transfixed by bad television, yes on high. How early can the form filler-outer get up; how late can she stay up ... Because trying to fill out the forms with parent wanting desperately to chat is also a balancing act. And don't forget how to get elder to focus on requested documents ... Now where did I put that is the question, as form filler-outer and elder navigate the obstacle course of coupons, papers from 1965 and lots of papers from the past shoved into kitchen drawers and never opened. It's the paperwork Olympics!

I came here to comment as I ot an idea from reading another thread....
Obstacle course: The object to get the medal is based on completing care giving duties such as, safety. security, meds, dr's appts. "those are the easy DUTIES and etc. (you all know the long list)... and not losing your own mind in the process.... and all extra score points given when there are people that throw unnecessary BS in your way, you all know... the complainers without realistic goals and all they do includes nothing they have no clue as to what the goal is, but pretend that their complaints matter, just to make you look like what you are doing is pointless.. (AS IF THE OBSTACLES are HELPING)
THE GOAL HEART MEDAL GOES TO "ALL WHO" ..............
~CAN PROTECT THEIR "ELDERLY IN NEED" FROM FAMILY OR ANYBODY ELSE'S...ABUSE, OF MONEY, OF FRAUD, CONTROL FOR SELFISH GOALS, AND JUST PLAIN UNCARING MOTIVES~

Rookie league- applying for Medicaid. points awarded for:
*fastest copying
*least amount of paper
*fewest phone calls
*fewest visits to bank
*competing with the flu
*maintaining visits to NH

Disqualified for:
*lying
*incomplete paperwork
*mental or physical harm to immediate family while competing