mrsribit Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
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“One day you'll find someone that's obsessed with you. It's probably going to be a dog. But it is what it is."
“It's no coincidence that man's best friend cannot talk."
"Dog to his owner:
I did the math. We can't afford the cat."
“The best therapist has fur and four legs."
“No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.”
🐾 “Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative.”
The best things in life are either illegal, immoral or fattening.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Everything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about. (My nephew gave a great demo of that one yesterday)
“Friendly dog, but beware of owner.”
🐾
“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my dog.”
🐾
“In my darkest hour, I reached for a hand and found a 🐾.”
🐕 “My human is wrapped around my little 🐾.”
“All I want for xmas is YOU
and pizza
but you too.”
🐕 🐾 “He’s making a list…I’ve eaten it twice…”
🐕 🐾 “He sees you when you’re eating…he knows when you’ve got snacks…”
“We 🐾 woof 🐾 you a Merry Xmas!”
"Oh xmas tree, oh xmas tree...your ornaments are history."
"Meowy xmas!"
"'Tis the season...to be grumpy."
"Grumpinator."
"All I want for xmas...is to punch you."
"Team Grumpy."
"I hate two-faced people. It's so hard to decide which face to slap first."
"Feliz Navi-Don't."
"Made the naughty list...good."
"Dashing through the...no."
dear Lord,
thank you for helping me.
so far today I have not been grouchy, irritable, or angry.
but i am about to get out of bed now
and will need your help even more.
Herbal Teas!
Reading the fine print....
Why would the tea bag state "drink responsibly?".
This struck me as somehow funny. But it is still early and foregoing the herbal teas, I have not had my coffee yet.
determined to drink less,
eat right and
exercise more.
But that was hours ago
when I was younger and full of hope....
“I need coffee right meowwwwww.”
“Books & coffee & dogs & social justice."
“🐾 Dogs and coffee make me feel less murdery.”
“Sorry I am only talking to 🐾 my dog today. You can try again tomorrow.”
“It was me. I let the dogs 🐾ut.”
“The 🐾 dog 🐾 has been fed. DON’T FALL FOR HIS LIES.”
“My cat thinks I’m kind of a 😍BIG DEAL😍.”
“I was the boss 🐾 until 🐾 I got a cat.“