mrsribit Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
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"Some children threaten to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."
"It's OK if the only thing you did today was breathe."
"Don't flatter - yourself - I only look up to you because I'm short."
"YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS.
(But only after you've totally freaked out about them. Once you've done that you should be fine.)"
"Cut off your dead ends for growth. And I'm not just talking about your hair."
"This drink will improve your dance moves."
"You look like I need a drink."
"Hey this is just a very normal and serious text with no hidden meaning whatsoever."
"Let's play a game called u bring me food and I eat it."
"If common sense
is common why are
you without it?"
The saddest question in the universe:
"Did you get my text?"
"Our pointless conversations mean a lot to me."
“Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
“Currently fasting from people."
"Here is a joke for all the mind readers out there..."
“Me: Sometimes I talk to myself.
Me: OMG same.”
“If I could unmeet some people…I would.”
“I’m a little door-key.”
"PEOPLE…
not a big fan.”
“I’m sorry, your opinion wasn’t in the recipe.”
“I feel like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there.”
“If you listen closely you can hear me not caring.”
"Sargasm (noun). When the urge to make a sarcastic reply is so overwhelming you can only roll your eyes and grunt incoherently.”
"You play the victim so well. I’m surprised you don’t carry around your own body chalk.”
I am off to explore the AI generated answer to your question BOJ.
🏝🤣
World Clock, it is either Wednesday or Thursday all around the world.
Unless you believe the world is flat.
Everything is going to be ok, it is great, it is all great. Or soon, it will be greater!
Nothing bad is happening now.
"I was just wondering, is it Friday yet?
(Asking for a friend)"
When you've had a rough day but you're trying to stay positive:
"It's great. I'm great. Everything is just GREAT."
"Have you ever had one of those days when you're holding a stick and everyone looks like a piñata?"
"Instead of getting married, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
"You never know how many friends you have until you have a beach house."