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When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn’t.
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There’s a fine line between hyphenated words…
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"I’m in a relationship at the moment. Sorry girls... it’s going to have to be your place."
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"I think animal testing is a terrible idea - they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
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“Regarding my family, I’m the youngest of three; my parents are both older.”
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97yroldmom, hug!! 🌸🌸
actually, i’m going away again. i’ll return.
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2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left
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Bundleofjoy
I read your jokes a couple of days ago and thought …. Bundle needs new material.
I read today and laughed over some until I had tears in my eyes.
‘I’m not sure which one of us is doing better but I’m glad to gave you back. 🤗
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“Most harm is done
by people who are awake.”
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“I hate people who say
AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER.

Age is clearly a word.”
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My wife says, “Camping’s a tradition in my family.”

It was a tradition in everyone’s family, till we invented the house.
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I think men who have a pierced ear are more prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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I spent 4 years in college. I didn’t learn a thing.

It was really my own fault.
I had a double major
in psychology and reverse psychology.
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“I haven’t taken my Xmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
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“There is no psychologist like a puppy licking your face.”
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"If it can be fixed with ice cream, it's not depression.”
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good!! 🌸🌸🌸
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Partly sunny 🌞, bundle of joy
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"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
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"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”
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Ta. I feel like climbing into bed & just staying there. Under a giant pile of blankets. With a book. Forever.. or until I get hungry.
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❤️
Today we don’t have any motivational quotes.
If you want to give up, give up.


(kidding....!)
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❤️
How is the weather
inside you?
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Well I wish the weather man was telling a joke today, yeppie getting more spring snow this week. 😛
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Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
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The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
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I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
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I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I now live in constant fear.
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❤️
Cats have 9 lives.
Makes them ideal for experiments.
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I won $3 million on the lottery so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
Now I have $2,999,999.75.
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