mrsribit Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
Follow
Share
Read More Close
7K Comments
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- How do I deal with negativity of my aging parents?
- My wife's mother is often mean and hurtful ... even remaining silent can still lead to receiving greater insults. Any experience with that?
- How do you cope when the patient is difficult, confused and defiant?
- My lady is 90 been with her two years and watch her go down hill. Am I a bad caregiver?
Start a Discussion
"Always trust your gut instinct, all your other body parts lie!"
"I think.
Therefore, we have nothing in common."
"Money can't buy you happiness
but it does give you a more
pleasant form of misery."
Calvin to Susie:
Your bangs do a good job of covering up the lobotomy stitches.
"Never underestimate
the power of chocolate."
"It isn't the ups and downs
that make life difficult;
it's the jerks."
"That wasn't
very Versace
of you."
"The prettiest
dresses are
worn to
be taken off."
"Build a bridge
and get over it."
"Choose a major you love and
you'll never work a day in your life
because that field probably isn't
hiring."
"Not only is my short-term memory horrible,
but so is my short-term memory."
Jon, looking sad:
Liz is doing something without me today.
Jon:
Why would she do that?
Garfield:
Good judgement?
🙂
“But it’s Friday”
is a valid excuse for almost anything today.
"It appears that auto-correct has become
my worst enema."
"That sad moment when your internet doesn't work
and you don't know what to do with your life."
"We will continue having meetings
until we figure out why no work is getting done."
"Look, I'm trying to RANT here.
Stop interrupting me with 'facts' and 'reason'."
"The only thing I don't like about you
is that constant
inhaling & exhaling habit you have."
"A list of things ain't nobody got time for:
1. That"
"You can't run away from trouble. There
ain't no place that far."
"How can I trust you
when you keep running away
every time I untie you?"
"Of course you can trust ME!
Not alone with cake, but otherwise, yes."
"How to parallel park:
1. Park somewhere else"
"And for my next trick
I will dazzle you
with the illusion that I have my s****t together."
"Best way to get back on your feet.
Miss 2 car payments."
"Ever look at someone and think,
'Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?'"
“This is my resting peach 🍑 face!”
“Some people are a peach 🍑 of s*****t.”