Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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Is anyone dealing with a husband with early-onset Alzheimer's? I am completely lost and alone and looking for someone going through this too.
Any advice for making a facility move as easy as possible?
What can be done in an AL when a resident refuses a prescribed psychiatric medicine?

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O oldageisnotfun Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 1 · 2023-06-02T18:12:10.000-0400

I finally have a dental plan. I chew on the other side.

O oldageisnotfun Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 2 · 2023-06-02T18:08:26.000-0400

F whole-grain cereal. When I want fiber, I eat some wicker furniture.

O oldageisnotfun Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 3 · 2023-06-02T17:58:29.000-0400

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it,

O oldageisnotfun Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 4 · 2023-06-02T17:54:18.000-0400

When I was kid I got no respect. I worked in a pet store.
People kept askin' how big I'd get. RD

O oldageisnotfun Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 5 · 2023-06-02T17:46:45.000-0400

I tell ya, I got no sex life. My dog watched me in the bed room, to learn how to beg. He also taught my wife how to roll over and play dead. RD.

I InMyShoes Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 6 · 2023-06-02T17:40:06.000-0400

“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”—Erma Bombeck

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 7 · 2023-06-02T09:00:37.000-0400

😉

"I have terrible ideas
if you need any."

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 8 · 2023-06-02T07:10:51.000-0400

🙂

"Childhood injuries:
fell off my bike
fell out of a tree
twisted my ankle

Adult injuries:
slept wrong
sat down too long
sneezed too hard."

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 9 · 2023-06-02T06:01:41.000-0400

❤️🙂

“I think I'm in a love triangle.
I love myself.
Myself loves me.
Me loves I."

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 10 · 2023-06-02T05:58:16.000-0400

😉 i found my new motto! :)

"I'm not late. I'm just early for tomorrow."

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 11 · 2023-06-02T05:56:36.000-0400

🙂

"Excuse me, I know this is hell, but may I ask which floor?"

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 12 · 2023-06-02T05:55:07.000-0400

🙂

"I came
I saw
I left early."

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 13 · 2023-06-02T02:10:50.000-0400

❤️🙂

“Sometimes you just need to lie on the floor and do nothing for three years.”

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 14 · 2023-06-02T02:08:14.000-0400

❤️🙂

“I’m like a kitten. I need attention and I need to curl up next to you and I need you to pet me and tell me I’m cute.”

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 15 · 2023-06-02T02:03:36.000-0400

❤️🙂

“Nothing brightens up a room
like your absence.”

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 16 · 2023-06-02T02:02:18.000-0400

❤️🙂

“These weekends are starting to feel like a thirty-minute lunch break.”

B bundleofjoy Jun 2, 2023 · Answer 17 · 2023-06-02T00:18:21.000-0400

❤️🙂

"Okay. So I danced like no one was watching.
My court date is pending."

I InMyShoes Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 18 · 2023-06-01T18:26:53.000-0400

“Kids are expensive, I didn’t even realize how broke I was until last year someone stole my identity and it ruined her life.”

O oldageisnotfun Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 19 · 2023-06-01T16:12:18.000-0400

Before I got married, my wife told me, "Don't talk about sex until we get married." We got married and she said, "Now, you can talk about it all you want."

O oldageisnotfun Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 20 · 2023-06-01T16:10:21.000-0400

We sleep in separate rooms; we have dinner apart; we take separate vacations. We're doing everything to we can to keep our marriage together.

O oldageisnotfun Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 21 · 2023-06-01T16:00:11.000-0400

I grew up in a mobile home, when I was a kid, I ran away from home, and it followed me.

O oldageisnotfun Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 22 · 2023-06-01T15:53:49.000-0400

For years I've been getting a ringing in my ears. It's getting worse, now I'm getting busy signals - RD

O oldageisnotfun Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 23 · 2023-06-01T15:52:21.000-0400

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine..

B bundleofjoy Jun 1, 2023 · Answer 24 · 2023-06-01T06:03:25.000-0400

❤️🙂

"So awkward when you meet someone you've stalked
and don't know whether to play it cool
or ask whether they enjoyed Tahiti in 2011."

O oldageisnotfun May 31, 2023 · Answer 25 · 2023-05-31T17:01:00.000-0400

Why was the horse so happy? Because he lived in a stable environment.

O oldageisnotfun May 31, 2023 · Answer 26 · 2023-05-31T16:57:10.000-0400

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city!

O oldageisnotfun May 31, 2023 · Answer 27 · 2023-05-31T16:55:54.000-0400

I have given up on my stand up comedy routines. Everybody just keeps laughing at me.

O oldageisnotfun May 31, 2023 · Answer 28 · 2023-05-31T16:55:02.000-0400

My wife and I had no idea what happiness meant until we had kids. But by then, it was too late.

O oldageisnotfun May 31, 2023 · Answer 29 · 2023-05-31T16:54:13.000-0400

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.

B bundleofjoy May 31, 2023 · Answer 30 · 2023-05-31T15:32:11.000-0400

😉

“Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.”

Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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