mrsribit Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
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"Hey overthinkers, we're gonna to be OK."
"Overthinking in progress."
"Quiet.
I'm overthinking."
***hole."
"I'm all out of clever things to say."
"Hold on. I've gotta overthink about it."
"I even overthink my overthinking."
.
.
.
.
.
A flat minor!
"My dog is a genius...
I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing."
"My wife says I'm too competitive.
I told her I already knew that."
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
“The best years of a woman’s life…the 10 years between 39 and 40.”
“Grandpa, tell us about the days when you had to buy the whole album even if you only wanted one song.”
“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.”
“By the time you’re 90 years old, you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.”
"Don't think of it as turning 30.
Think of it as being old."
"If you are going to call the cops
every time you spot me in your bushes
I don't think this relationship is going to work."
I drive a 4x truck because I am a form believer that a car built to go 0 to 60 in 3 seconds should be driven that way, except for the cop hiding bushes :-) (of course the safety issue is a factor but, I would drive it like I stole it if I owned one)
Instead of my car saying stupid things like
"your door is ajar"
it should say helpful things like
"there's a cop hiding in the bushes".
"Wanted:
a tiny dragon to incinerate a***oles, sh***ty drivers, and dumb***sses."
"I'd like to unsubscribe
from my own thoughts."
"I'd like to unsubscribe
from my on thoughts."
“Yeah, I’m about ready for the weekend.”
—me, Monday at 7:14 am
“Looks like I’m thinking,
but really it’s allergies.”
Dad said, "No, just a bunch of bills."
The son asked, "Who's Bill?"
“Cats never listen. They’re dependable that way; when Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time.”
"I can't have kids,
my cat is allergic."
"It's not that I don't like you...
Oh wait, yes, yes it is."