mrsribit Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
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"I will not sleep
until I find
a cure for my insomnia!!"
"I am trying to be positive
but Murphy's Law keeps finding me."
"OK Murphy's Law,
you win.
I give up."
Not homeless!
Wife just keeps buying PLANTS
"Please kindly go away,
I'm introverting."
"Sometimes, the 1st step towards forgiveness is realizing
the other person is totally crazy."
"There's more to life than chocolate, but not right now."
"What is the meaning of life?
All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate."
"Research tells us that fourteen out of ten people love chocolate."
(apart from llamalover ❤️, who doesn't like chocolate)
"Does the notion of chocolate contradict the principle of free will?"
"Due to the recent coin shortage,
no one is allowed to put in their 2 cents anymore."
“Around here
normal is just a setting on the dryer.”
"The more people I meet
the more I like my cat."
"Seize the day,
then let it go."
"Dogs are friendly.
Humans may bite."
"I'm so grumpy,
I'm not even talking to myself!"
Y: Life.
“People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory.
My reply? ‘Just stuff.’”
“How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, GO!”
“I wonder if we
overthink
each other
at the same time.”
“Just give me
a second
to overthink this.”
“Overthinking and
also hungry.”
“The task I must undertake is towering over me like a great big monolith.
It is too big to contemplate. So I think I will go and have a little look at the internet.”
🙂🙂
“Things I don’t feel like doing today:
moving.”
“A day can really slip by
when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.”
“Writing is 90% procrastination
and 30% panic.”
“Man stranded on a desert island. He’s holding a stick, pointing it at the sand, and completely confused what to write. An airplane is hovering above.
Man:
Dang! Heck of a time to get writer’s block!”
"Oh wow!! You're really gonna fight me over the internet?
What's the worst you can do, caps-lock me to death?"
"I'd appreciate it
if you'd stop interrupting me
while I'm ignoring you."