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😉

"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
(5)
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❤️🙂

"The older I get
the more I understand why
roosters scream to start their day."
(6)
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🙃

“Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”
(7)
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❤️🙂

"What doesn't kill you
slowly makes you
weaker until you die."
(4)
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😇

“TEIAM — problem solved.”
(2)
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🙂
Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat...
The government hates competition.
(5)
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🙂
When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.
(3)
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❤️🙂
Am I getting older
or is the supermarket playing great music?
(4)
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😉

A very unhappy, elderly person at the doctor's office.

Doctor:
Remember those extra 20 years you added to your life through clean, healthy living? - Well, these are them.
(4)
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❤️

How to keep up with laundry:
1. You can't
2. Find a new dream
(4)
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😉

"A dog walking away from the owner, unhappily. The dog says to himself:
It's always good dog, never great dog."
(4)
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😘
"If you're feeling a sudden calm,
it's because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic
on a grassy hill.

You're welcome."
(3)
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🙂🙂
In retrospect, that was stupid.
--The working title of my memoir.
(3)
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🙂
"Be good to your spouse,
remember right now they could poison you
and it would be counted as a covid death."
(3)
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🙂🎼

Grunt, creak, groan, crack, crik, wheeze, snuck, ugh, pop, snap, oof, sigh, crack.

(The soundtrack of aging.)
(3)
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BOJ, rotflmao!
(1)
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❤️
I just read the top 100 things to do before you die
and was surprised that
YELL FOR HELP
wasn't one of them.
(6)
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😉
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

As an actual amputee, right leg, below knee, I can confirm that I am not as strong or mobile as I was with two normal legs.
(5)
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🙂🙂
Scientists discovered that spiders can hear us up to 7 meters away. They hear us through the hair on their legs.

Scientists also discovered that the most common sentence spiders hear before they die, is:

”Darling, get my shoe.”
(3)
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little joke for today:
😇🙂
“Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and sense of humour, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.”
(4)
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Happy summer, Bundle!
(1)
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Happy summer to you BOJ!

Busy is good.
(1)
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stand-up (man) comedian on stage:

So I went on holiday. I was at the beach. I took off my shirt and a very attractive woman walked by.

She said:
You must work out.

I said (blushing):
Thanks!!

She said:
No, you MUST work out.
(6)
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ITRR, i’m suddenly back!!
was busy.
🌟🌟🌟🌸🌸🌸
i’ll still be busy a while.

happy summer everyone!!
(3)
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Wide is meant to read "wife".
(3)
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Wide asks: If a tiger attacks your mother and your wife at the same time, who do you save?
Husband answers: Of course the tiger, very few are left now.

The husband is in ICU.
(7)
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Just remember...
Your Meemaw had a faster car.
shorter shorts,
and a wilder past than you'll ever know.
~~Respect your elders~~
(4)
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She said she missed me. I was there all along!
(2)
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Hulk Hogan died. Wrestle with that!
(4)
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BOJ, oh where art thou? :-)
(2)
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