I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
❤️🙂
"The older I get
the more I understand why
roosters scream to start their day."
“Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”
"What doesn't kill you
slowly makes you
weaker until you die."
“TEIAM — problem solved.”
Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat...
The government hates competition.
When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.
Am I getting older
or is the supermarket playing great music?
A very unhappy, elderly person at the doctor's office.
Doctor:
Remember those extra 20 years you added to your life through clean, healthy living? - Well, these are them.
How to keep up with laundry:
1. You can't
2. Find a new dream
"A dog walking away from the owner, unhappily. The dog says to himself:
It's always good dog, never great dog."
"If you're feeling a sudden calm,
it's because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic
on a grassy hill.
You're welcome."
In retrospect, that was stupid.
--The working title of my memoir.
"Be good to your spouse,
remember right now they could poison you
and it would be counted as a covid death."
Grunt, creak, groan, crack, crik, wheeze, snuck, ugh, pop, snap, oof, sigh, crack.
(The soundtrack of aging.)
I just read the top 100 things to do before you die
and was surprised that
YELL FOR HELP
wasn't one of them.
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”
As an actual amputee, right leg, below knee, I can confirm that I am not as strong or mobile as I was with two normal legs.
Scientists discovered that spiders can hear us up to 7 meters away. They hear us through the hair on their legs.
Scientists also discovered that the most common sentence spiders hear before they die, is:
”Darling, get my shoe.”
😇🙂
“Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and sense of humour, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.”
Busy is good.
So I went on holiday. I was at the beach. I took off my shirt and a very attractive woman walked by.
She said:
You must work out.
I said (blushing):
Thanks!!
She said:
No, you MUST work out.
was busy.
🌟🌟🌟🌸🌸🌸
i’ll still be busy a while.
happy summer everyone!!
Husband answers: Of course the tiger, very few are left now.
The husband is in ICU.
Your Meemaw had a faster car.
shorter shorts,
and a wilder past than you'll ever know.
~~Respect your elders~~