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"Never ask a starfish for directions."
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:) "We are going to be best friends forever, besides you already know too much."
(1)
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"If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?"
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“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.”
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"There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, please tell me."
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"Dear optimist, pessimist and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, the opportunist."
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"Sadness is...the mini heart attack when you text the wrong person."
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"When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? Don't say anything. Just stand there..."
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"Do you wish to be remembered? Leave a lot of debts."
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I lose my mind all the time. I almost always get it back.
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“Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.”
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"If your cup is only half full, you probably need a different bra."
(8)
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"Let's cuddle so I can steal your body heat."
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"Imagine someone who loves you so much, they make you love yourself."
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“You either like me or you don’t. It took me 20-something years to learn how to love myself. I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.”
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“I’d like less of an emotional rollercoaster and more of a teacup ride.”
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boj, I always say, I want an actual doctor, not a practicing physician.
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“It’s a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice.”
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“I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.”
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"If you think money can't buy happiness, then transfer it into my account."
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"When you are dead, you don't know that you are dead. All the pain is felt by others. The same thing happens when you are stupid."
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:) "I don't go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time."
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:) "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
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"I told God to protect me from my enemies and I started losing friends..."
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"I hug people I don't like, so I know how big to dig the hole in the back yard."
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“Let’s stop asking people: what do you like to do in your free time? At this point, we all just watch Netflix.”
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“I wish people came with a 30 second trailer so I can see what I’m getting myself into.”
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Thank you.
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“‘You attract what you fear.’ — oh my God. I’m so scared of $10.6 billion.”
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“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”
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