Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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Is anyone dealing with a husband with early-onset Alzheimer's? I am completely lost and alone and looking for someone going through this too.
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B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 1 · 2022-03-21T17:18:46.000-0400

:) “Don’t trip over what’s behind you.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 2 · 2022-03-21T13:39:55.000-0400

“Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit send.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 3 · 2022-03-21T12:36:01.000-0400

“Teenager (noun). Someone who is ready for the zombie apocalypse, but not ready for the math test tomorrow.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 4 · 2022-03-21T12:15:37.000-0400

“The ‘killing them with kindness’ is taking way longer than I expected.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 5 · 2022-03-21T12:12:09.000-0400

“When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, I’ve heard a baseball bat is quite effective.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 6 · 2022-03-21T07:55:30.000-0400

“Once upon a time I was hungry and that’s what happened to your chocolate.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 7 · 2022-03-21T07:49:17.000-0400

:) “Sometimes my mind wanders off to a happy place where I’m allowed to punch people in the throat, and there are cute puppies and free cake.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 8 · 2022-03-21T07:24:57.000-0400

:) “I have a ton of excitement in my life. I used to call it stress, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 9 · 2022-03-21T07:22:34.000-0400

“When I said I was normal I might have exaggerated slightly.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 10 · 2022-03-21T07:21:52.000-0400

“If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 11 · 2022-03-21T07:20:11.000-0400

:) “I do all my stunts, but never intentionally.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 12 · 2022-03-21T07:19:04.000-0400

Mosquito:
Excited about spring? LOL, me too bro.

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 13 · 2022-03-21T07:18:01.000-0400

:) “I’m not totally useless. I can be used as an bad example.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 14 · 2022-03-21T07:17:30.000-0400

:) “Don’t believe everything you think.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 15 · 2022-03-20T17:10:59.000-0400

hello notrydoyoda :),

i must feed you more quotes.

“Pay attention in English class I do not. Speak my own way I will.”

“Sexy I am. Know this I do.”

“The stupid is strong in this one.”

“Already know you that which you need.”

:)

N notrydoyoda Mar 2022 · Answer 16 · 2022-03-20T14:14:06.000-0400

bundleofjoy,

Yes and my wife could once forget while doing something else with me and suddenly start talking about her therapist or our children. I look back on that now and laugh.

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 17 · 2022-03-20T09:02:45.000-0400

“1. Going to bed early. 2. Not leaving the house. 3. Not going to a party…My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 18 · 2022-03-20T08:16:10.000-0400

:) “Spring, where have you been all winter?”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 19 · 2022-03-20T08:13:46.000-0400

notrydoyoda, you mentioned, forgotten?

:) bundle of joy to the rescue with quotes about forgetting.

“Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.”

“Recipe for iced coffee. 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.”

”Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.”

:)

C cwillie Mar 2022 · Answer 20 · 2022-03-20T08:11:29.000-0400

If you watch a lot of the "clean wholesome" movies from back in the early half of the 20th century you'll find many are full of double ententes, no doubt delighting those who got it yet sailing right over the heads of children and those less sophisticated.

N notrydoyoda Mar 2022 · Answer 21 · 2022-03-20T07:56:47.000-0400

Sex? I have 6 bottles of unused viagra. My body has forgotten what making love is.

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 22 · 2022-03-20T05:30:48.000-0400

SEX

Now that I have your attention, don’t forget to love yourself, eat healthy, read books that will give you wisdom, and live in the moment.

:)

M MargaretMcKen Mar 2022 · Answer 23 · 2022-03-20T02:31:34.000-0400

Naughty suggestions from Mae West:
****
I feel like a million tonight (but one at a time).

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

Poor woman! She gave the guy an inch and now he thinks he’s a ruler.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
*****
She was a very clever woman. How to shock without any obscenities!

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 24 · 2022-03-19T16:51:06.000-0400

:) “Happiness is…taking control of your own happiness.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 25 · 2022-03-19T16:50:24.000-0400

:) “Happiness is…someone with whom you can talk of books, philosophy and the beauty of life.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 26 · 2022-03-19T16:44:35.000-0400

:) “Happiness is…being weird every now and then.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 27 · 2022-03-19T16:38:27.000-0400

:) “Happiness is…laughing so hard that you think you might die.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 28 · 2022-03-19T12:43:16.000-0400

:) "Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 29 · 2022-03-19T12:34:43.000-0400

"I don't sing in the shower. I perform."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 30 · 2022-03-19T09:14:49.000-0400

:) "May your weekend be full of inappropriate behavior and fun."

Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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