Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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H HisBestFriend Mar 2022 · Answer 1 · 2022-03-18T18:24:04.000-0400

I am 75 years old and people still ask how I stay so young looking?
Good genes, and Oil of Olay!

I love your outlook on almost everything, I need a laugh, maybe only a grin......so much.....every day!
Have a smiley day, Bundle! :)

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 2 · 2022-03-18T12:35:37.000-0400

:) "I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 3 · 2022-03-18T12:35:15.000-0400

"I never practice my guitar...from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 4 · 2022-03-18T12:32:12.000-0400

"When I was a little boy, I told my dad, 'When I grow up, I want to be a musician.' My dad said, 'You can't do both, Son.'"

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 5 · 2022-03-18T12:29:52.000-0400

"After I saw Jimmy Hendrix play, I went home and wondered what the f*** I was going to do with my life."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 6 · 2022-03-18T12:28:45.000-0400

:) "I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 7 · 2022-03-18T12:28:02.000-0400

"There are 2 golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 8 · 2022-03-18T12:27:01.000-0400

"To achieve great things, 2 things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 9 · 2022-03-18T12:25:55.000-0400

"Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 10 · 2022-03-18T12:25:09.000-0400

"I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 11 · 2022-03-18T12:23:53.000-0400

"My music is best understood by penguins and dolphins, and other animals."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 12 · 2022-03-18T06:58:51.000-0400

"Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja?"

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 13 · 2022-03-18T06:56:57.000-0400

"At the gym I'm like a ninja. You'll never see me there."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 14 · 2022-03-17T08:02:15.000-0400

:) “Do it for the after picture.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 15 · 2022-03-17T08:01:44.000-0400

“I hope the zombie apocalypse doesn’t come after a heavy squat day.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 16 · 2022-03-16T17:49:02.000-0400

“Scientists claim smiling can lengthen your life. Unless that smile belongs to a shark.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 17 · 2022-03-16T17:44:05.000-0400

“I’m smiling, just take the damn picture.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 18 · 2022-03-16T17:43:12.000-0400

:) “I’m not frowning, I’m smiling upside down.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 19 · 2022-03-16T17:42:07.000-0400

:) “I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 20 · 2022-03-16T15:58:14.000-0400

"I don't make mistakes, I date them."

I InMyShoes Mar 2022 · Answer 21 · 2022-03-16T03:58:24.000-0400

A place for everything and everything all over the place.

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 22 · 2022-03-16T02:00:56.000-0400

:) “I learn something new every day. And forget five other things forever.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 23 · 2022-03-14T18:37:06.000-0400

“My doctor asked me if any members of our family suffer from insanity. I said no, we all seem to enjoy it.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 24 · 2022-03-14T16:43:36.000-0400

"Don't forget, you are what you eat."

"I need to eat a skinny person."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 25 · 2022-03-14T16:38:24.000-0400

"KarmaSutra: When fate f*cks you in all sorts of creative ways."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 26 · 2022-03-14T15:14:38.000-0400

:) "If you can't see the bright side, polish the dull side."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 27 · 2022-03-14T11:05:55.000-0400

“Always look on the bright side. Although it may just be bright because it’s on fire.”

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 28 · 2022-03-13T12:18:13.000-0400

A waiter.

A dog sitting at a restaurant, looking through the menu:

Is the homework fresh?

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 29 · 2022-03-13T11:12:20.000-0400

"Sometimes you're the dog: sometimes you're the hydrant."

B bundleofjoy Mar 2022 · Answer 30 · 2022-03-13T10:19:31.000-0400

"My luck is so bad, if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying."

Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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