Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

Question

Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

Follow

Share

7K Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First

12 13 14 15 16

Recent Questions

How do you deal with the guilt a caregiving when you feel like you're not enough or you're not doing a good enough job?
How to handle a parent in AL who wants to come live with you? I feel terrible all the time.
Does anyone have experience caring for someone with personality disorders, specifically Histrionic or Narcissism?

Related Questions

Start a Discussion

O oldageisnotfun Aug 4, 2023 · Answer 1 · 2023-08-04T15:55:01.000-0400

I went to see my doctor. “Doctor, every morning I get up, look in the mirror and feel like throwing up; what’s wrong with me?” He said “I don’t know But your eyesight is perfect.” - RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 3, 2023 · Answer 2 · 2023-08-03T16:32:36.000-0400

I was making love with my wife, and she had a faraway look in her eyes.
I said, ‘Darling, is there someone else?’ and she said, ‘There must be.’ - RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 3, 2023 · Answer 3 · 2023-08-03T16:27:32.000-0400

I have a new girlfriend. Thankfully, she loves me for my money and my fame. Not for who I am. - RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 3, 2023 · Answer 4 · 2023-08-03T16:17:45.000-0400

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 3, 2023 · Answer 5 · 2023-08-03T16:16:53.000-0400

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 1, 2023 · Answer 6 · 2023-08-01T16:42:47.000-0400

I don't get no respect. A girl phone and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 1, 2023 · Answer 7 · 2023-08-01T16:37:01.000-0400

When I was a kid I asked my dad if I could go ice skating. He told me to wait until it gets warmer. RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 1, 2023 · Answer 8 · 2023-08-01T16:33:17.000-0400

Always be nice to your children, because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

O oldageisnotfun Aug 1, 2023 · Answer 9 · 2023-08-01T16:30:15.000-0400

I found my wife is faking orgasms. Four of my friends told me. RD

O oldageisnotfun Aug 1, 2023 · Answer 10 · 2023-08-01T16:29:13.000-0400

I have come to think of orgasms as the things I have really quickly while the guy gets up to look in the refrigerator for something to drink.

O oldageisnotfun Aug 1, 2023 · Answer 11 · 2023-08-01T16:26:16.000-0400

People always tell me stupid stuff. You know, like their opinions.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 12 · 2023-07-28T01:17:31.000-0400

I always say what I mean…

I may not always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 13 · 2023-07-28T01:15:11.000-0400

We don’t stop playing because we grow old.

We get old because we stopped playing.

-George Bernard Shaw

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 14 · 2023-07-28T01:09:09.000-0400

I have to stop saying,

How stupid can you be?

I think people are starting to take it as a challenge.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 15 · 2023-07-28T01:07:10.000-0400

I’m pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you, there wouldn’t be anything left!

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 16 · 2023-07-28T01:04:27.000-0400

After Tuesday,

even the calendar goes W T F

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 17 · 2023-07-28T01:02:17.000-0400

Definition of STUPID:

Knowing the truth

Seeing the truth

Yet still believing the lies

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 18 · 2023-07-28T01:00:03.000-0400

I’m not crazy. My reality is just different from yours.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 19 · 2023-07-28T00:57:57.000-0400

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 20 · 2023-07-28T00:56:21.000-0400

If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays!

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 21 · 2023-07-28T00:54:56.000-0400

I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 22 · 2023-07-28T00:54:02.000-0400

Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself for only $92 in crafting supplies?

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 23 · 2023-07-28T00:51:20.000-0400

Old people at funerals always poke me and say, “You’re next!”

So now, I do the same thing to them at funerals.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 24 · 2023-07-28T00:49:33.000-0400

Toughest job ever:

Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control that you would have to have.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 25 · 2023-07-28T00:44:09.000-0400

It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend that you’re listening.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jul 28, 2023 · Answer 26 · 2023-07-28T00:28:48.000-0400

Touch my coffee and I will hit you so hard that even Google won’t be able to find you!

V ventingisback Jul 27, 2023 · Answer 27 · 2023-07-27T15:04:19.000-0400

Covid Pick-Up Lines

Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?

You can't spell virus without U and I.

I saw you from across the bar. Stay there.

Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink?

Do you come within 6' of here often?

You’ll never worry about Covid-19 again if you come home with me. I have a lot more worrisome transmittable diseases than that baby.
(Oh wait. Maybe don’t use that one.)

V ventingisback Jul 27, 2023 · Answer 28 · 2023-07-27T14:57:59.000-0400

It flu over my head.

V ventingisback Jul 27, 2023 · Answer 29 · 2023-07-27T14:57:40.000-0400

It’s the Germans spreading it according to scientists.

Remember to wash your Hans.

V ventingisback Jul 27, 2023 · Answer 30 · 2023-07-27T14:57:18.000-0400

I hear that these virus jokes are catchy.

Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

7K Comments

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions