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This lady got a text saying, I am here for you.
She says, thanks so much, i really needed to hear that. By the way, i lost my contacts. Who are you?
The other person says, I am your Uber driver, I'm outside.
(9)
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Must have scrolled right on by 'Family Feud' in the last 30 years, even though I have seen it when channel surfing, I have never watched it.
I am starting to worry about how isolated I have been, living here the past 15 years, with no T.V. but Roku.

That's okay though, I get the feeling Family Feud goes much like the forum 'family' of caregivers lately. We will all be okay! There is always u-tube!

Richard Dawson!
"Name something that dries up once it's old."
Bread???
(2)
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Send,

Remember Richard Dawson on The Match Game? So cute! He was a good player.

Years later, he hosted Feud and kissed all the women UNTIL he kissed one that he found chemistry with and he married her. After his marriage he stopped kissing the ladies! Hahaha, he went overboard with the kissing business but hey, he found a wife!
(7)
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I told Bill Withers 'Ain't No Sunshine' is poor grammar. He said, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know...."
(7)
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Speakin' the words of wisdom Frazzled.
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NHWM,
Thanks for your comment, I think.
I like the history, old songs, old movies until I watch them. lol.

I of course, looked all that up last night. Ended up laughing to Johnny Carson with guest Robin Williams. The game shows were a riot, there were so many that I had forgotten even existed.
(3)
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A three-legged dog goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I want to find the man who shot my paw.
(11)
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I just discovered a company called The Stinky Candle Co.
Based on there scent choices, it’s obvious nobody at the company has ever been a caregiver. I would gladly take ‘sour pickles’ over ‘potty chair parfait’ any day. What are some of your Stinky Candle scent suggestions?

xoxoxo
susan
(6)
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Doo-Doo Muckle~
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Booti Fruiti
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Toe Jam
(1)
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Aged Mango
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I've been diagnosed with a fear of giants,
......
feefiphobia.
(14)
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Do you remember when the air in gas stations was free?
And now it costs $1.75. Do you know why?

INFLATION.
(14)
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What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

Decaffeinated
(6)
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef
(8)
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Palmetto Bugs: "A euphemism coined by tourism boosters in Florida to make the state's flying cockroaches sound less repellent"
(5)
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Houseplant, I am cracking up. I can't tell you how many times I was corrected when in Florida. Nope, not buying it for a minute those giant beasts are flying cockroaches. Freakiest thing I have ever encountered.
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Isn’t it gross to think about cockroaches? They are estimated to be about 200 million years old! They. were here before us and will certainly outlive us!
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NHWM: That's exactly why I don't think on those cockroaches!
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For designer dog lovers:

Labrador + Poodle = Labradoodle
Yorkshire Terrier + Poodle = Yorkie Poo
Dachshund + Yorkshire Terrier = Dorkie

Labradoodle + Yorkie Poo = Mongrel
Yorkie Poo + Dorkie = Mongrel
Dorkie + Labradoodle = Mongrel

Dachshund + Great Dane = Extremely Difficult
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Love it Margaret!
We have a Chihuahua + Dachshund which = a Chiweenie~
(3)
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Hello,
I just want to say that humor and laughter make a world of difference for me going along this caregiving journey. Without it, the situation would feel absolutely hopeless and miserable all the time. Of course there are bad days that are not easy, but having a good laugh gets me through and makes me feel better. Find something funny to watch to put you in a better mood! The power of humor and laughter is amazing!
(9)
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Dear Goodbird, your post makes me feel ashamed of myself. Many of us got fed up with this thread a few months ago when it was dominated by a genuine carer who unfortunately was also an unpleasant troll. Perhaps we all need to get a library joke book and start posting again. I even found a treasure trove of ‘lightbulb’ jokes on the net, without having to go to the library. Just looking for jokes has to be good for the soul if you are feeling down.
(5)
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Try this site. They are pictures, so I can't post them. Even my husband laughed out loud!
https://quotesnhumor.com/22-hilarious-jokes-collection/
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There is a highly dangerous virus going around called Weekly Overload Recreation Killer (WORK)
If you come in contact with this WORK virus you should immediately got to the nearest Biological Anxiety Relief facility (BAR) where you will be supplied with one of the antidotes:
Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)
Radioactive Unwork Medicine (RUM)
Bothersome Employer Eliminator Reboot (BEER)
or Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen (VODKA)
(9)
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Unusual funeral procession:

An Italian woman was leaving a convenience store with her espresso when she noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian woman walking a dog on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the Italian woman walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
''What happened to him?"
"He yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Italian sisterhood and silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"

The woman replied, "Get in line."
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I heard this from a women who is a caregiver to a very difficult husband.


What do you do if your husband is staggering around the front yard babbling incoherently ?

Shoot him again.....
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Talking with hubs this morning. I was amazed at his recall naming a place in Africa. So I set out to discover how he learns and remembers. He heard it. He also connected the name to a place he remembered, that was similar, heard in Lawrence of Arabia or Alladin, called "aquaba".

I expressed how glad I was that he was getting smarter, and sad that I was getting dumber.

He said, in a very rare moment of being funny:
"You are not getting dumber, just blonder".
(9)
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Neil Diamond: Hands......
CDC: Yes, wash them for at least 20 seconds
Neil Diamond: Touching hands.....
CDC: No, please don’t touch hands!
Neil Diamond: Reaching out.....
CDC: Avoid that too
Neil Diamond: Touching me....
CDC: No! none of that!
Neil Diamond: TOUCHING YOU
CDC: We’re doomed

Neil Diamond: Sweet Caroline!
CDC: Oh hell
CDC: Ba Da Ba Ba!
(7)
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