I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Busy is good.
😇🙂
“Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and sense of humour, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.”
Scientists discovered that spiders can hear us up to 7 meters away. They hear us through the hair on their legs.
Scientists also discovered that the most common sentence spiders hear before they die, is:
”Darling, get my shoe.”
“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”
As an actual amputee, right leg, below knee, I can confirm that I am not as strong or mobile as I was with two normal legs.
I just read the top 100 things to do before you die
and was surprised that
YELL FOR HELP
wasn't one of them.
Grunt, creak, groan, crack, crik, wheeze, snuck, ugh, pop, snap, oof, sigh, crack.
(The soundtrack of aging.)
"Be good to your spouse,
remember right now they could poison you
and it would be counted as a covid death."
In retrospect, that was stupid.
--The working title of my memoir.
"If you're feeling a sudden calm,
it's because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic
on a grassy hill.
You're welcome."
"A dog walking away from the owner, unhappily. The dog says to himself:
It's always good dog, never great dog."
How to keep up with laundry:
1. You can't
2. Find a new dream
A very unhappy, elderly person at the doctor's office.
Doctor:
Remember those extra 20 years you added to your life through clean, healthy living? - Well, these are them.
Am I getting older
or is the supermarket playing great music?
When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.
Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat...
The government hates competition.
“TEIAM — problem solved.”
"What doesn't kill you
slowly makes you
weaker until you die."
“Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”
❤️🙂
"The older I get
the more I understand why
roosters scream to start their day."
"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
Love is getting mad at someone, telling that person to go to hell, and hoping that they get there safely.
“You will understand when you’re older.”
I’m now older and I still don’t understand a thing.
My life is an open book, but it’s very poorly written and I die in the end.
I've got 99 problems
but that’s 693 in dog problems!!
The 99 problems, 693 in dog problems. LOL!!! Thank-you for giving me a laugh and pretty much describing the last month of my life LOL
You are awesome.
"I waved to a man because I thought he waved at me. Apparently he waved to another woman. So to get out of the awkward situation I kept my hand up and a taxi pulled over and drove me to the airport. I am now in Poland starting a new life."
“…when he to whom one speaks does not understand, and he who speaks himself does not understand, that is metaphysics.”