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🙃
I’ll do the stupid thing first
and then you shy people follow.
(3)
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🙃😍
If you think this silence is awkward, just wait until I start talking.
(4)
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🐶🐶🐶
Dogs do speak,
but only to those who know how to listen.
(4)
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🙂
Hang on.
Let me make this awkward.
(2)
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🙂
I don’t hate you.
I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
(4)
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🙂🙂🙂
Today I’m only talking to myself.
(4)
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🥰🌸🥰
Excuse me but
my calculations show that:

you = the best
(2)
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The face uses more muscles to frown than to smile…

What can I say, I’m addicted to fitness.
(4)
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Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.
(3)
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🙂
I’m not trying to be difficult…
It just comes naturally.
(5)
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🥰
Your opinion wasn’t in my recipe.
(4)
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I am confused how a cemetery can raise its prices and blame it on the cost of living.
(11)
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She said she missed me.
Normally that would be good, but she’s reloading.
(7)
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🙂
I’m angry, but not homicidal.
This is progress.
🙂🙂🙂
(3)
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🥰
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie
is all the walking I’d have to do.
(6)
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😉🥰
I admit that I live in the past, but only because housing is so much cheaper.
(6)
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stand-up comedian on stage:

🙂
Comedy is going well! I recently left my job to do comedy. I have to be back tomorrow at 9.
(2)
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“Told you so.”

Sincerely,

Your intuition
(3)
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If you’ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
(2)
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🙂
Research grant application:

“My project is simply this. I want to find out, once and for all, whether there’s any truth in the belief that money can’t buy happiness.”
(4)
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Hey BOJ , I'm missing your jokes? Hope everything is well.
(1)
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Just take whatever it is and show love always show love no matter what.I rescued my 94 yr old dad 2 times while he was in the restroom.Itwasnt easy I was an emergency rescue...
(1)
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BOJ, oh where art thou? :-)
(2)
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Hulk Hogan died. Wrestle with that!
(4)
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She said she missed me. I was there all along!
(2)
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Just remember...
Your Meemaw had a faster car.
shorter shorts,
and a wilder past than you'll ever know.
~~Respect your elders~~
(4)
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Wide asks: If a tiger attacks your mother and your wife at the same time, who do you save?
Husband answers: Of course the tiger, very few are left now.

The husband is in ICU.
(7)
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Wide is meant to read "wife".
(3)
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ITRR, i’m suddenly back!!
was busy.
🌟🌟🌟🌸🌸🌸
i’ll still be busy a while.

happy summer everyone!!
(3)
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stand-up (man) comedian on stage:

So I went on holiday. I was at the beach. I took off my shirt and a very attractive woman walked by.

She said:
You must work out.

I said (blushing):
Thanks!!

She said:
No, you MUST work out.
(7)
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