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Sleeping is hard in the summer
because the blankets are too warm,
but without them I am vulnerable to monsters.
(4)
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🙂
Summer ---
that crazy Sun of a beach.
(3)
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It's beginning to look a lot like
cocktails.
🙂
(4)
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If you're going to rise,
you might as well shine.
🙂
(3)
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Pretty sure my birth stone
is a seashell.
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(4)
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That's what sea said.
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(3)
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If it requires a bikini,
my answer is yes.
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(3)
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Gone crazy.
Be back shortly.
(5)
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Keep your squats low
and your standards high.
(3)
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Just say yikes
and move on.
🙂
(4)
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Why is no one ever the right amount of
whelmed?
(4)
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I’m about 200% done with today and about 67% done with tomorrow already.
(2)
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Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee & lie to me about how much we are going to get done today.
(2)
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I’ll be saving my resolution for 2026.

I think I want to be an a***hole for 1 more year.
(3)
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June is almost over???
Julying!
(2)
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Imagine if spiders giggled
while running away from us.
(2)
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Emotion are gross.
How do I uninstall them?
(3)
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🙂🥰😍
I hope to arrive to my death -
late,
in love,
and a little drunk.
(3)
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It's so Hot, I saw a chicken lay an omelette
(3)
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It's so hot my sweat is sweating! 🥵
(4)
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🙂
You may think I’m a horrible person.
But deep down I’m even worse.
(5)
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🙂
When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, try a hockey stick. Results may vary.
(5)
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🙂
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.
(8)
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🙂
There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.
(6)
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!!!
They said all dreams come true. They forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too.
(5)
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🙂
I’ve run out of excuses.
I will likely be a little late because of who I am as a person.
(4)
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🙃
I keep hearing people talk about what they’re going to do when they retire.

I’m gonna have to work right up to lunch on the day of my funeral.
(5)
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Many, many years ago (waaaay before I was caring for my mom w/cognitive decline) the local newspaper ran an article about an event to raise awareness for Alzheimer's / Dementia. The headline was, "Join us this Saturday for the Dementia Walk. It will be an event to remember!" Uggh. 🙈 I remember cringing so hard when I read that. I don't even think they did it on purpose.
(7)
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It's so hot, the cows are giving evaporated milk.
(7)
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It's so hot my mom's outside thermostat blew up. 🥵

(Not a joke)
(4)
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