Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

“I’m not having much luck with jobs lately. ❤️ I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a historian.”

Bundle! So nice to see you back 😍

The dance floor IS always under my feet & I must always remember it. I love this ❤️💃

“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ ❤️

“The dance floor is always beneath your feet.” ❤️

"You cannot plow a field by turning it over in your mind. To begin, begin." ❤️

“We ask 18 year-olds to make huge decisions about their career and financial future, when a month ago they had to ask to go the bathroom.” ❤️

"It is often said that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living." ❤️

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.” ❤️

Need: I've switched over to Purple Heart donation curbside pickup. Easier than hauling items to Goodwill. Plus it helps PH Foundation.

I donated a ton of kitchen stuff to the thrift shop near me. I had at least 12 cup cake pans. My kids would always volunteer me to bake cupcakes for their class parties!

I decided to donate them afterwards because I knew that I would not be baking loads of cupcakes ever again!

Vases too! I had tons of vases from flowers that have been given to me over the years. My gosh, how many vases do we need?

Coffee mugs are another one. I have received a bazillion coffee mugs from my friends because they know that I am a coffee lover.

We can’t keep everything. We can’t be sentimental about every item. It feels great to purge all of our excess stuff!

My DH bought a dehydrator.
Thought it might be useful.
Sure. It can collect dust on that top shelf. And so it does.

Whoever invented upper kichen cupboards that go to ceiling height, thankyou. They are on my next kitchen wish list.

For awhile we couldn’t get aluminum foil. When it became available my husband was buying it everytime he went to BJ’s to buy his coffee. I told him to stop, I think we have enough until we die . I don’t even use that much foil to begin with . His response was “ It doesn’t go bad “.

I don't have any covid 19 paper products. But I do have a bread maker, an ice cream maker, a pasta maker, baking pans, galore, all collecting dust

Lol, now we know where all the toilet paper went....cwillie

cwillie , I may have gotten to the end of that pile not too long ago . Lol

Don’t ask how many expired hand sanitizer bottles I recently discarded. Why was I thinking I would need so much back then when I wasn’t going out often ? 🙄🙄

I do have a lot of papertowels still. 🤦‍♀️

Hands up if you are still working your way through the hoard of toilet paper you bought in 2020 🙋

Beware the Ides of March! Suggested viewing (available on YouTube): “Rinse The Blood Off My Toga” by Canadian comedians Wayne and Shuster. (short version is b&w from The Ed Sullivan Show, extended version years later from their own comedy show)

Since we’re being frank, UTIs in young women are often blamed on sex, and it’s probably true. Vigorous sex helps squeeze traces of feces into the area. So good to pee etc before as well as afterwards. At least it was more fun than wiping back to front!

Just a little humor all this talk about UTIs , make sure they pee after sex too. 😆
I had to explain that to one of my sons girlfriends.

I had a great joke about getting old.. but I forgot what it was.

Anxiety.

The Carol Burnett ‘Gone With The Wind’ episode was my absolute favorite one!

Yep! I watched The Riffleman with Grandpa. Chuck Conners was great!

Needs, when I was growing up, there was no Ed Sullivan in my family's house

It was Hee Haw 🤠 all the time

Needs, when my father passed, I was the strong one, didn't let myself take time to cry or grieve properly.
Came home one day from moms, and my husband was watching, Rifle Man. It's a really old black and white, sweet show, if you don't know it.
Anyways, Mark, the sweetest little boy, was playing Greensleeves on his guitar. My dad played it on his violin often when I was growing up. The water works started and didn't stop for like 12 hours.
These old shows can make you laugh out loud, when you need to and help you cry when you need a good cry.

But nothing will ever make me laugh as hard as I laugh when I watch Carol Burnett in her gone with the wind skit

Anxiety,

Oh my gosh, I adore Carol Burnett! Which makes me remember Mama’s Family! Very funny show! Vickie Lawrence was adorable as Mama.

I watched both Bob Newhart shows.

Mary Tyler Moore was great too!

One Day at the Time was cute too. As was, Archie Bunker, The Jefferson’s, etc.

Petticoat Junction and Green Acres too. I love Arnold the pig! LOL 😝

I used to watch the old westerns with my grandpa. Oh, and Ed Sullivan Show. Mom loved The Mike Douglas Show, Dinah Shore Show. Grandma loved her soaps! Mom only watched The Young and The Restless.

Oh, The Monkee’s and Dark Shadows were favorites when I was around 12.

Then Laugh In and The Smothers Brothers.

Twilight Zone! Loved it!!!

Love Mash! needshelp

I watched the bod newhart when they were in the bed and breakfast, in Vermont. I think he had another one earlier. Love "Larry, Darrel and Darrel"

I'm thinking Mary Tyler Moore, soon!

I tried bewitch, liked it as a kid, but couldn't get into it as an adult.

Can never go wrong with Lucy!

Or Carol Burnett!!

Anxiety,

I love Cheers! Taxi was great too. I love the old shows. They are timeless.

There are certain episodes of I Love Lucy that still crack me up! Love Mash, Andy Griffith, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, The Honeymooners, Bob Newhart Show, Alice, Dick Van Dyke, etc.

Those old shows were great.

Loving Friend's right now. Just went back to another round of "The Rachel" hairdo even, lol. Love this thread too!

Needs, me and my husband started streaming old shows, from being to end a few years ago. Instead of watch new stuff or movies. We stated with friends, that 70s show, chears, now we are on really darn funny.

When I'm the only one watching, I streamed the shows he wouldnt like. Watched all of the Waltons, now I'm on designing women or little house on the prairie. Depending on my mood and if I feel like a good laugh or a bit of a cry. 😆

Anxiety,

I love Golden Girls. I haven’t seen Designing Women in ages. I used to watch that show. The grandmother on Young Sheldon was on Designing Women. She’s fantastic on Young Sheldon.

I'll check it out sometime needshelp. Cuz I really did enjoy it.

If I get time for an afternoon coffee, I have been streaming, gold girls or designing women . 😆