Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!

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B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 1 · 2023-06-16T15:20:10.000-0400

😇😘

“Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and sense of humour, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.”

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 2 · 2023-06-16T15:14:46.000-0400

😉🙄

“Sometimes it freaks me out that there’s a skeleton inside me.”

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 3 · 2023-06-16T13:47:51.000-0400

🙂🙂

"I don't understand how people get eaten by sharks.
Don't they hear the music?"

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 4 · 2023-06-16T13:36:49.000-0400

🙂🙂

"I resolve to delude myself into thinking
I'll be a healthier and more productive person next week."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 5 · 2023-06-16T13:30:59.000-0400

🙂

"Dolphin speaking to another dolphin:
If I could do only one thing before I died, it would be to swim
with a middle-aged couple from Connecticut."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 6 · 2023-06-16T11:29:25.000-0400

😉

"A dog walking away from the owner, unhappily. The dog says to himself:
It's always good dog, never great dog."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 7 · 2023-06-16T11:25:02.000-0400

🤓

"Why am I
the only naked person
at this gender reveal party?"

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 8 · 2023-06-16T11:19:14.000-0400

🤓

"Taco EMERGENCY.
Call 9 Juan Juan."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 9 · 2023-06-16T11:17:11.000-0400

🤓🤓

"If by 'crunches' you mean
the sound bacon makes when you eat it,
then yes I do crunches."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 10 · 2023-06-16T11:12:44.000-0400

😉

"On occasion, you should introduce the upper lip
to the lower lip, the result
is absolutely amazing."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 11 · 2023-06-16T11:10:55.000-0400

😉

"I don't argue with the world.
The world argues with me."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 12 · 2023-06-16T09:06:15.000-0400

❤️

"If you see someone over 40 out in public after 9 pm,
they 100% took a nap earlier in the day..."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 13 · 2023-06-16T09:04:30.000-0400

🤓🤓

"Tomorrow's a new day
and another chance
to mess things up just a little bit differently."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 14 · 2023-06-16T09:03:29.000-0400

😉

"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four chin teller."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 15 · 2023-06-16T08:18:08.000-0400

😉

"I asked Alexa, what do women want?
It hasn't shut up for nine days."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 16 · 2023-06-16T08:17:35.000-0400

❤️

"I don't need a stress ball.
I need a stress bat."

B bundleofjoy Jun 16, 2023 · Answer 17 · 2023-06-16T08:17:06.000-0400

❤️

"Do you ever wonder what people who caused the product warning labels are like?"

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 18 · 2023-06-15T22:28:05.000-0400

I may not be Wonder Woman but I can do things that will make you WONDER!

I InMyShoes Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 19 · 2023-06-15T21:49:05.000-0400

On our way to church, we asked our grandchild why is it important to be quiet in church. She said "Because there are people sleeping!"

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 20 · 2023-06-15T17:41:27.000-0400

Truth is, I am not being sarcastic. I am just a funny person who is surrounded by idiots.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 21 · 2023-06-15T17:38:42.000-0400

Don’t take like too seriously because you’ll never get out alive.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 22 · 2023-06-15T17:33:23.000-0400

Please don’t take my silence as agreement to your rants.

I just prefer to watch your craziness in silence.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 23 · 2023-06-15T17:31:11.000-0400

The main ingredient in hand sanitizer is paranoia.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 24 · 2023-06-15T17:29:41.000-0400

When I told you that I was normal, I may have exaggerated slightly.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 25 · 2023-06-15T17:28:14.000-0400

I do yoga to relieve stress…

Just kidding, I read books in my yoga pants

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 26 · 2023-06-15T17:21:29.000-0400

I use to have super powers but my psychiatrist took them away.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 27 · 2023-06-15T17:19:25.000-0400

All I ask for in life is for my children to be successful enough to pay for their own therapy when they grow up.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 28 · 2023-06-15T17:18:01.000-0400

Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…

Ain’t no borderline, psychotic emotional outburst either

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 29 · 2023-06-15T17:15:09.000-0400

My guess is that you haven’t been diagnosed yet.

N NeedHelpWithMom Jun 15, 2023 · Answer 30 · 2023-06-15T17:14:03.000-0400

What doesn’t kill you…

Gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a sick sense of humor