Hi today was the biggest wake-up call ive had and a very stern warning that WE NEED to look after ourselves I went to see my doctor today just to get my prescription for my sleeping tablets......while there she said I didn't look well and I told her that I was feeling a bit WEAK? I then showed her a rash on my lower back thinking nothing of it and told her id had it a week and that id put a cream on it but it didn't work she took one look and said it was an absess and to go to emergency straight away! I had to wait 4hrs to see the surgeon but luckily it hadn't actually turned to an absess but a few more days and it would have been nasty and would have needed surgery of the most unpleasant kind. Im sitting here now feeling very numb as all the stress ive been under has caused this and not eating right or taking care of myself has taken its toll im just so relieved as I really couldn't have coped with surgery not after all ive been through the last four years. I think this has really made me wake-up and am going to start eating right tomorrow as I got an awful fright. My immune system is so low that now im getting infections I must be in some mess for this to happen and when the surgeon asked If I was under any STRESS?? I laughed, my mother may have dementia, he said that would explain things and warned me to watch my own health as hes seen what this can do to caregivers.
I just wanted to let you all know that we really need to take sometime to check our own health as it just creeps up on you. Im now on antibiotics and feel like im spaced out and so tired and just wish I hadn't let this stress go this far and had taken better care BUT I didn't so busy running around after mum and now look at me im no good to her now all I want to do is sleep and am keeping out of her way she was so upset and made me a cup of tea I then went and cried as normally she wouldn't register things like this but she was very lucid and caring like she used to be? its heartbreaking for a few minutes she was my mum again.
anyway don't want to alarm you or upset anyone but have just realised this stress is serious and how important it is to maintain our own health.
Tomorrow is a new beginning for me as this was maybe the scare I needed as deep down I was eating very badly and not taking care of just how much "comfort food" I was eating and how low my immune system had got in fact I cant remember the last time I ate a proper meal just coffees and junk food as that's what I was craving.
its going to be tough but today was the day to wake up and look after ME!