I am not new to caregiving. 6 years ago I was taking care of my mother and grandmother (while also working and going to school full-time) and did it all with ease and very little frustration. fast forward six years and now I am taking care of my father and get frustrated with him very easily. He is home (living with me) after nearly 3 months in the hospital and rehab for a colon surgery and heart attack. he has no strength or endurance and is entirely incontinent all issues that i dealt with in the past with my mom or grandmom, but now i get frustrated easily with is inability and unwillingness to try to help himself, but feel guilty because i didn't have these issues when caring for my mom. i don't want him to feel like i love him any less than i did my mom, but caring for him seems to be so much more of a burden. how do i reconcile the feelings or address them with him, so he doesn't feel like i'm don't love him? any suggestions would be helpful and most appreciated.

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Maybe after 6 years of caregiving elders, and at such a young age, you are just experiencing some burnout. It is past time for you to get on with your own life, and maybe that is contributing to your frustration. Also the fact that your father does not appear to be trying to take advantage of his second chance could add to the frustration. I'm sure that you don't love your father any less than you loved your mother, but that doesn't mean you may like everything he does as well.

Have you talked to your father candidly about your feelings?

Perhaps it is time to bring in some outside help. Maybe it would help your patience level if you didn't have to do all the care alone.

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