It really just amazes me just how cruel "family" can be. My father was in the hospital again and is now in a rehab, until he is strong enough to be placed elsewhere. While In IN, I was the one staying all night with dad, leaving just to take a shower then going back because my dad was scared of my brother! I told dad not to be scared but then my brother physically attacked ME. I called 911. After calling 911 NOTHING HAPPENED. Found out from my brothers boss, he has been threatening to hurt me! Scared to stay at dads condo so I started staying at hotels, my family is Military and is in Florida. Called the Police back about the text from my brothers Boss and they STILL DID NOTHING. Now because of my brother and dads family.....I left IN and came back to FL. I was chased away!!
This should be about Dad and what dad wants, but these idiots are playing games. I love my dad and I will go back. They can hurt me and scare me but you only have one father! They are after his money and nothing more. I refuse to allow dads wishes to be changed in any way! dads POA, locked me out of his condo and my belongings were in it!! His POA does not have that authority....
So sad & stressful!
Hope this information helps:
When anyone calls 911, a report MUST be made [not so, if calling the "non-emergency" line]
AND, you can get a copy of that report, free.
AND, if it does not state things properly, if facts are missing, omitted or changed, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to contact the police/sheriff, ==within a certain time limit== [I think it is something like 48 hrs?] to make an appointment to physically go to the office, sit with that cop who took your initial report, and make corrections to it, which ALSO must be recorded into the official records, and which you can also get a copy of for your files.
The cop who takes the corrected report, may not like it, because it reflects badly on their ability to do their proper reporting--too bad..
They gotta do it--it's the law--or at least, it was when we had to do that.
AND, you can ask what the police can do for you, regarding threats.
They may not be able to do anything, unless he actually does something; but cops may be able to direct you to other resources/agencies.
Cops there, may not be up-to-date about anti-bullying/cyber-bullying laws, anti-threat stuff, etc..
That does not mean they are off the hook for doing "due diligence".
IF the Cop has your verbal, & the copies of the texts sent by your brother, the cop might likely also speak with your brother....sometimes they do that...& hear his version.
That's a domestic verbal dispute.
IF things are to a point you fear for your safety and/or your Dad's, there are restraining orders a judge can order.
BUT...they do not usually do that without hard evidence
[[my daughter was beaten up--then we could get a restraining order against that perp, but not before--AND, we had to hand-carry copies of it to EVERY jurisdiction she might travel in, where he might show up and cause a problem, in order to get every jurisdiction to honor that order...crazy ridiculous!]]
You can try to get an order against your brother, since he threatened you, but, unless you have evidence your brother is harming Dad, you cannot get an order protecting Dad against your brother, I think.
[[evidence is something anyone can see, not verbal alone]]
Keep adding more evidence, each time he texts you, or you find communications from him to others, that tips his hand, and substantiates your position.
Note on the calendar each time he does his behaviors at you...time, date, who said or did what....that becomes evidence.
THEN it starts becoming something cops can act upon.
But pretty much, all they can do is report domestic disputes.
Later on, reports may be a good thing to have--things start adding up.
Put your ducks in a row.
It's a lot of work, takes energy and persistence.
You also gotta consider, what battles you really want, and can afford, to struggle with:
==Is fighting your brother's behavior worth it? How? Who really wins?
==In what specific ways will fighting him help your Dad, &/or you?
==If Dad is prevented from visiting with you, even unto his last breath, he still remembers you & will know the truth after he's gone--you are in his heart!
==Your brother will have to struggle the rest of his life, knowing what he's done, & after. [[many sincerely believe--I do]]
In any case, it sounds like you could use legal advice...
Area Agency on Aging usually has free legal consults they can schedule, so you can ask questions, get referrals to resources that might help you.
At least you can learn what you can do to both protect yourself, & maybe even your Dad.
UNFORTUNATELY, some POA's DO have the right to block contact by certain family--if they simply state a named person has been harming Dad/threatening, etc., medical staff MUST block access, until they learn otherwise.
==Medical staff's first duty is to protect the patient, so they will take the word of the POA, or the parent, or anyone else--even if it's lies, if it pertains to Dad's health and welfare. Kinda like when CPS removes kids from suspect parents, THEN asks questions.
It is UNREAL, how common it is for family to go completely haywire, if they think they can get something away from the others.
EVEN when they already GOT it all, they can still be terrible to the one[s] who didn't get something from the parent, out of fear the ones who got shafted will demand some back.
It happened in my family.. The more divided a family is [like, from divorces, etc.], it seems, the more terrible some behaviors between survivors.
Some of my sibs, who already got everything, pretend to want to communicate, yet, if I make the mistake of allowing my heart to lead me into trying to talk with any of them, they cut me off.
I barely get to say Hi--- there's no assurance Mom would get a card, or a call message [not that she'd want one, since she's the one who started this mess].
It's like a knife being turned deeper into my gut, every time they do another thing
--I do not know if or when it will ever be something I can put into a better perspective
--I just keep trying to put it in a better place in my mind, knowing they are pretty sick-headed; I keep working on forgiveness, being thankful they moved her out of here.
It's been heart-breaking & spirit-shattering, what they've done, and occasionally keep trying to do more of.
It became impossible to speak verbally with them--I had to stipulate only emails or letters--they kept twisting words & pretending they never said things they did say.
I just had to cut my losses & keep distance--refuse to allow them to keep sucking me back into their dramas, stop allowing them to kick me when I was already down for the count; they HAD to be kept at distance in all respects, in order for me to keep breathing at all. . SOMEtimes, that is all one can do.
What I learned from what happened here, was as I described above, re: 911 calls, reports, getting them amended/corrected., asking for legal help, keeping all communications in writing between you and siblings.
Please try Area Agency on Aging.
They may likely be at least able to direct you to groups , agencies, or other helps that could actually do something to help.
There's also the "Ombudsman"--elderly who are at risk, esp. in facilities, State Ombudspersons advocate for the elder, and try to get their needs met and things managed..
My brother has lived near dad but has taken advantage of that. He will go long periods with out seeing him, takes it for granted.
My brother and I have been close all of our adult lives; however, in October, I realized he had not been telling me the truth. Dad had lost 30 plus pounds and my brother was not aware of it. I was told by dad David came over a couple times a year...David told me he took dad to breakfast every Saturday. That along with his talking about shooting and killing people and older disgusting topics, did me in.
Yes. Get an attorney.
Called my dads house, he was home. Called this morning to see how his first night was and now he has a caregiver, dad did not even know he was getting a caregiver. If the rehab facility believes dad is able minded enough to go home...he should have been included in that decision!!!!! He was not, he got up this morning and there she was! I have stayed away and stayed here in FL, but enough is enough! I called the State of IN, talked with an ombudsman and have also hired an atty. I am tired of just sitting by and allowing them to walk all over me. The last thing I wanted to do was get atty's involved, but the POA is now taking rights away from my father! No more. I hope and pray that nobody ever has to go through this. My fathers atty is family on my husbands side and she refuses to get involved and to tell the POA when he is stepping over his boundaries. My uncle (POA) may see me as a 12 year old but I am 40, and he is In for the fight of his life. You do not tell a daughter she can not see her father after she drives 1400 miles to get to him. He does not have that authority.
Any way, just an update, I keep allowing them to treat me like garbage because I do not like confrontation.....but they have officially pushed me beyond my limit!!
Called to talk to the Police regarding my brother hitting me...they have it noted as a "dispute". Called the Mayor, Chief of Police called back, yelled at me during the conversation. Seems my uncle POA, went in and talked to him and told the Chief it was all about money with me!! I am furious! That could not be farther from the truth! I pay for everything when I am at dads...not to mention, my brother stole the will and he is the one having the problems!! I have to find an atty because POA is completely slandering me and taking advantage of me.