My brother attacked me and chased me away from dad.

Consult an eldercare attorney.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Something is not right here. What did the police report state and what was the reason your brother was not arrested for assault?

Yes, get an attorney and surely something is very wrong if the police won't help you.

I had to call police on an older sister who hit me beside the head over her anger that she wants me to move my mom closer to me so she doesn't have to visit her! The nursing home or police were no help. I have contacted numerous attorneys over this plus harassing texts and emails from a brother. I am POA along with the brother, but he has robbed my mom over the years. Good luck...I've finally tried to just let it go, I avoid them and continue to visit my mom and I am the primary contact for her care. Screw all of these mean, greedy people. Their day is coming!

Forgot to mention I could have pressed charges for assault but because my sister is 15 years my senior, I couldn't go through with it. I really should have. She ended up telling everyone I hit her! My mom was the only one in the room when it happened and she can't communicate well because of her dementia. My mom was crying and so upset and told my sister to stop upsetting me, but my mom isn't able to definitively answer questions.

Call the ElderAbuse Hotline and report what happened. And what do you mean by stating that nothing happened when you dialed 911? Did they not show up or did they do nothing once you got there? You can go to the station and talk to a cop. They can talk to you about your options and also explain what they need to intervene. I agree with the other that hiring a lawyer is a good idea.

When I called the Police, I was not listed on the report? I was told it was a civil matter. My Uncle showed up and bailed my brother out.
I was locked in my car and the Officers' never came back to talk with me.
My father has Dementia and I am usually the one that takes care of him. My Uncle , the POA has been talking to my father about how he does not like me. Ironically, I have not spent time with him for 17 years. I have been married , raising my own family and being a military spouse. That family never gave me a chance and I have been so hurt by them and their actions.

Scared, I was told by the Officer, that the Prosecutor will not look at any case unless they are seriously hurt. My brother walks around talking about shooting people.....for no reason. So now you know why I was scared!

The only way to take complete control of the situation is to become the guardian. I decided not to do this because it would costs over $1500 to hire an attorney. The nursing home in my situation said they could not ban my sister from coming to the nursing while I am visiting, even though she caused my mom to become upset as well as other patients who witnessed her husband using profanity in the day room. I also contacted an ombudsman for a mediation and the siblings would not show up . The ombudsman told me that unless I get my mom declared incompetent, I cannot control the siblings from coming. "I" will have to be the one who walks away if they show up. I have done everything, but I didn't get any help from anyone. It's very frustrating. If you want to pursue legal action for assault you can, but to change the course you will probably have to do guardianship. Have as much documentation as you can to prove your case

I was also a military spouse, so love to you for that.

I worked in a Police Department for for years and just the text message sent to me from my brothers boss, would qualify as simple assault by threat.
I do not want to cause problems.....I just want to see and spend time with my dad!

wow! I have had same type of experience! The Cops.... and the authority figures that are suppose to help keep us safe are a joke!!! Sorry to say, if there are no serious injuries such as a river of blood or broken bones, and it is a "he said, she said" type of incident, the cops do not want to touch it with a 10ft pole.

I had to research and find the right Elder Care Atty and agencies to help. This also means, protecting yourself from backlash from the not so nice "family" involved bc they will come after you out of their own greed.

Try to find, one person, agency, that will show you compassion and help you set things right for your Dad.

Wish you could tell me who that agency is...I began to feel like people think I'm the one who's nuts because people have a hard time believing family can be so cruel and selfish.

Go for guardianship even if you have to make payments to the lawyer. If you do get domestic violence charges against your sibling they won't be able to challenge you and you will get guardianship without contest. I had to do this with my brother and with just myself and the attorney in court, it was easy. As long as you can pass the criminal background check.

Llcrss,
This week has been very tough. I too decided that I would just let it go and just stay away, since I seem to be the cause of all the drama! However; that will not fly with me. I am my father's only advocate! My adopted brother is the cause of ALL THE PROBLEMS, BUT MY 63YEAR OLD UNCLE HAS ALLOWED MY BROTHER TO EFFECT MY UNCLE'S JUDGEMENT!
I was not even given a chance, and that is pathetic. Instead of just giving up and staying away...I am looking for a GREAT ATTY! I want to get custody/guardianship of dad and take care of him from here on out. My dad is all I have left and I know that it is going to be difficult, but I am up for the challenge! I have seen him at his worst and his best. But regardless, he is my dad!! My husband maybe retiring in a couple years, Command list comes out this week. So after 25 years..... This is one for household six!!

Saphire51,
I can pass a background test, easily. I worked as Grant Administrator and Police Accreditation Specialist for many years. Had to pass extensive background to be considered for employment.

Lildebb39,
I wish you luck...I just have had so many other things to deal with, along with this situation, that I was beginning to get sick, depressed, etc. I'm sure I will have to revisit all of this again because as long as my mom is alive they will create drama.

Since and Only because YOU will NOT be believed, Nor will have the Support, both Emotionally as well as physically, You should be calling the Women's National Coalition against Domestic Violence, And, for FLA... "Florida Coalition against Domestic Violence, Not only will it be kept "Confidential" for You, but they are probably the Only ones that will Believe you as well as have your back! But if it were me, I would "absolutely" be telling them that your brother has threatened to harm you.
You see, Once You have knowlege of a situation, particularly a Harmful one, whether it be emotional or physically, YOU ARE NOW RESPONSIBLE for Reporting it! And if one agency, or in this case a 911 doesn't take you seriously, You have the Responsibility to find a Place or a Person that will! And,
the Coalition for Violence will listen. And then You HAVE to Call Ombudsman to also explain and to Protect your father, emotionally, physically, as well as
financially. But "I" would first Start with the Coalition against Violence for Women first, if that were me. It would allow me to Finally "Vent" with People I
could Trust, and those who would FINALLY "Believe" me!! And 'that,' is what YOU need right now too! You can't go on like this and your brother is nothing but a BULLY and the longer you wait on this, the Longer You, as well as your Dad, will continue to be Bullied. Once again, knowing this, YOU now have the RESPONSIBILITY of doing this Now! Please keep us updated!

Did your dad give him poa? Does your dad have his senses,? If your dad gave him poa do you have copy? Take to attorney and get advice. We made mistake of putting 1 brother in poa for mom and he suckered her into thinking noone else wanted to put up with her so he had her sign deed to house over to him, anyways if you think he is abusing your dad call elder abuse hotline for dads town and keep calling police, because we were told poa brother could lock us out.

I can totally relate to your situation. I have a sibling that I won't call a brother anymore, he is a little bully. He has done the same to me by trying to attack me. My family literally beat him up.
He has no respect for women, and he is to cowardly to fight men, but he has threatened me several times.
He has never been in any serious relationship and has no children thank goodness. He also has a criminal record. My mother who he now lives with after not having any place to live, caters to him.
I told her he is not right, and that I am through having anything to do with him. I have tried to help him in the past and he repeatedly treats me horrible. He has shown that he has extreme jealousy with me, since I chose a different family life with moral.
I cannot tell you how to handle your situation either except for what the other writer response was about contacting the women against violence colition. I will also be contacting them.
What gets me is that it is usually a spouse who women deal with when it comes to domestic violence. To have a sibling treat us this way is just unbelievable. I have ever been treated so badly by anyone in my life. I am a mother of Christian faith in which this sibling is not. I have a very nice family who are loving and caring. All I can say about these types of people is that they will have to answer for their behavior. Also, I pray a lot, and I will not allow this sibling to threaten me any longer. I stay completely away from him, someday he will be all by himself and will have to live with the fact that he could of had an extended family who would have been there for him. But because of his ways that will never be. I can only hope they get psychiatric help someday because they need it. Best wishes to you.

some people are just defective. move early and fast to get this guy shut out (guardianship lawyer fees may be able to be paid from your father's assets - at least that is how it works in CA). Try getting a small video cam to take with you on visits --- it turns it into evidence rather than "he said/she said". Nothing like a death threat on video to make the police pay attention. Be aware that YOU will have to be on good behavior and don't let yourself get suckered into fights, or lured into battles. Avoid the temptation to "edit" the video. Copy and turn over to authorities (AND your lawyer/Adult Protective Services, etc) immediately if you do get him threatening on video (turn over the WHOLE video, with notes of the time of the threat, so he can't claim that you started it)

I also need to add that my husband who is a very calm man, was the one who actually decked this sibling when he tried to break our window out to get at me. He had just had enough of his abuse. We do not condone any violence, and my husband is a business man and man of faith. But that day he had enough of him.

My Uncle is POA and unfortunately, he has been listening to my brother way to much. I do not consider them family anymore.
I am trying to get a copy of the Police Report from the Greenwood Police Department, but even though I called 911, I am not listed on the report? I do have multiple text messages printed out from my brothers Boss to myself telling me about the threats against me. I even notified the police about these messages and told them the content, but was never asked to send the entire messages. I will be filing a complaint against the Greenwood PD next week, I will also talk to the Assistant Chief and send the messages to them via e-mail or text if possible. They have hurt me to the core and now they are un plugging the phone so I can not call and talk to dad, without getting a nurse to plug the phone back in. I would say, act like an adult......but the POA IS twenty plus years older than I, and is creating all of this drama!! I have had it.....no more at the expense of my father!

When I called the police to file a report on my sister who hit me, her son , who is a deputy with another department, called the officer who took my report and told him "I" was the problem. So when I got the police report I noticed some things left out. I called the officer and he told me my nephew had called him and he said "I guess there's two sides". My nephew wasn't even present when the incident happened! Influencing another officers police report.....

Lil Debb,
I am so sorry you are going through this and that your brother attacked you. My brother did threaten me and I was very cautious of where I was and not letting him know where and when I was around. I did believe that he could become violent as he had several years before. Did the police or sheriff he ask if you wanted to press charges? Could you go before a magistrate or other person of the jurisdiction? I have come up against the good ole boy system and I am just putting those questions out there. Have you considered Adult Protective Services? Even before you got to the part where you know your brother's behavior is about money, I knew that was what it was about, because that was exactly the reason my brother was belligerent to me. He did not want me to get too close to find out how much he was embezzling because he was scared he would be found out. I would talk with an elder care lawyer.
Best to you and your dad.

CAN'T BELIEVE (and maybe I Can!) HOW MANY of You "Can Relate" to this situation of 'Sibling' Abuse, and even the last comment here by Kitty, in regards to her Brother being belligerent to her, so that She wouldn't get too close to finding out how much HE was Embezzling!!! OMG!!! Sounded JUST LIKE MY STORY and My Life with MY Brother!!!!!!!!!! God Help and Be with Us All!!!! And may God Help and Be with everyone's "Parents as well!!!" (btw, this Site seems like a GODSEND! love and my compassion to Each of You who are trying to do the Right thing by Your Parents, while also trying to STAY STRONG and Protect Yourselves. It can be a Lonely Road. I'll pray for your
Strength and Courage.

Wow, so much drama. Let us pray together 9:00 PM EST Sunday, 03/24/2013. Light a candle everyone and say this sweet prayer:

Our Father,

Please hear our prayer. Let your will be done, on earth, as it is spoken in heaven. Remove the constraints, restraints, humans or spirits that are causing the separation of David from contacting his family. May your heavenly angels quickly intervene and make the family come together. Let your will be done this day, this hour, this minute, this moment. As we know, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." You are here, and we humbly make this request not for ourselves, but for the sake of our family and loved ones. We remember your works of old. We remember the parable of the prodigal son. We will continue to rejoice and sing praises in your name. Yes, we will continue to sing praises to you dear Lord. We ask this in your son Jesus Name Amen.

I went to the police after my sister tried to hit me then threatened me with bodily harm. I filed assault charges under the domestic violence laws and she was arrested. She underwent anger management (which did absolutely no good), but I thought it would be enough and I didn't want her to loose her job. I should have been more hard line, but it's too late now. This is in MS. In MS, they are Required to make an arrest if charges are filed. Now, they will try to talk you out of it if there is no blood. Which is ridiculous to me, but they do want you to follow though. I would check into conservatorship laws. It is like guardianship, but for adults versus minors. The physical distance might be an issue. POA does not give your brother the right to break the law or steal your mother's belongings, but it does make that part of the issue civil instead of criminal.

I admire you for sticking to your commitment to your father's well being; however something here is not right. Have the siblings always had difficulties?Perhaps, there is some jealousy over your having been away for so long taking care of your family and the military responsibility. As many of us who have been military spouses are aware of the common belief that we are living "high on the hog" is applicable here. The truth is that raising a family and supporting your spouse's commitment to protecting our country is anything but easy. You have what it takes to ensure that your father recieves the care he deserves, but you probably are going to have to engage responsible professionals. Please protect yourself and I know that you will succeed in your goal of getting the best response for your father; military wives are like that.

I have a sister that acts weird too, but she is not violent. I really loved my Dad and he is gone now. Which makes me realize how close to death all of us are. Nothing would stop me from seeing my Mom or Dad. I know if my sister behaved violently towards me everytime we got together, i would avoid her. Nort because I am afraid of her, but because the consequences outweigh the drama. With that said, you should visit your parents at your leisure and when they show up leave the room. Wait and take a break, get something to eat or do an errand and then return. You could also ask the nurse to let you know when Mom or Dad is having visitors before you visit.