When is a caregiver defined as neglected?

Whimmie,
Hoping you are coming back to goud question that you started here.
I will wait to post then.....

Whimmie, Please don't wait for others to define how you are feeling.
You may need to walk away, adjust your hours, limit what you can and cannot do safely and willingly. Get yourself some help, continue talking it out. One does not need a psychiatrist to define this commitment is killing you. If one is caregiving by default because there was no one else, it is time to get someone else.
Adding some money to the equation and creating a greater obligation will not solve anything if you are feeling this way: neglected, overlooked, even abused.

Set yourself free!

My friends here helped me to decide on just two things that I could do, choose just two things, do that for awhile. That will help you to create boundaries, and later, you may find that your caring too much will cause you to overstep your own boundaries.
Boundaries you have made for your own health, and then set aside when a need arises. It is in that case you become your own worst enemy, and need to walk away if you are not a martyr.
Be healthy first.
Give only what you have and only what you can do willingly.

Whimmie, when a caregiver is abused or neglected, they walk away. If they continue to suffer and put up with it, they need a psychiatrist.

Whimmie - the theory behind elder neglect laws is that the elder does not have the ability to defend his or her interests and is therefore vulnerable to neglect and exploitation. I think it's assumed that if someone is physically and mentally well enough to take care of someone else, the must be able to take care of themselves as well. Yes, there are many cases of caregivers being exploited and even abused, but that's not recognized legally because able-bodied adults aren't considered vulnerable to abuse and are thus not protected by the law. Your choice in the situation is to just say no. Get up and walk out if you feel you're being exploited or abused.

Whimmie, are you referring to the caregiver who is not getting paid to do all the caregiving?

The vast majority of adult children who are caregiving for their parents they do not get paid for the caregiving.... unless the parent(s) can pay them themselves.