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PLEASE tell me someone else in this board lacks a decent support system? Part of me if very angry that I can't rely on anyone to help.

I've been trying SO hard to take care of my grandmother, even though she's living with SOMEONE ELSE. Problem is, this other person... Isn't doing so well herself. She's in her 40s, has cancer and is going blind. So, where's the family?

There's a huge generation gap where all the elders are well in their 60s, and the rest of us are within our 20s. You know, getting jobs, having kids and the like...

So where's the help for me? I'm in the same boat and I'm VERY tired of doing this. I'm, at the point where I want to cut ties with my grandmother because I really can't take care of her from a far and there's noone to ask for help without telling me, "Oh, I don't know ehn I have time."

Darn You. I'm tired of calling out from my job and ..There's just a lot to explain.

My god. I hate everybody and I don'[t want to do this anymore. I'm not even sure where to go next. My grandmother needs either assisted living or a retirement home, and assisted living has a years worth of waiting lists!

ALso, nobody can afford anything, so now I'm stuck looking for subsidized on top of it. I am tired and don't want to do it anymore.

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You will find there are many of us dealing with our elderly loved ones without much assistance from our families. Knowing that doesn't make your situation any easier but maybe it will make you feel less alone. We are all here for you and you will get many helpful responses to your questions.

First of all, is your grandmother on medicare? If so ask her doctor for an inhome healthcare provider referral. They will do an evaluation and determine what services your grandmother needs. Medicare will pay for these services. How about medicaide? I don't know anything about it but contact your local senior services department for information about this and other programs that might be of help.

Make a list of things that need to be done and give that list to your nearby relatives and hope for the best. Just tell them, THIS IS WHAT I NEED done for Grandma...don't ask tell! Where are her children? Unfortunately, we can't make anyone help us.

It may just be it is time for a nursing home, depends on what health issues your Grandmother has. Sounds like you have done all you can and that is enough of a reason to make other living arrangements. I do believe our first responsibility is to ourselves and our immediate family...you can't sacrifice your own life for caregiving.

Sending big hugs and all the best wishes.
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