82 yr old mom. Dad passed 4/13. We moved her to my sister's and my home town. She lives in her own home - alone. Her arthritic hip is in pain due to HER over-doing getting her winter clothes fluffed and in her closet. She got mad that my sister and I didn't call and offer to help. My sister was there and offered and was rejected.
She was in the E.R. Thursday due to hip pain so bad she couldn't move. Both sister and I stayed with her. Released, on drugs to ease pain and she had a walker in her home to help her. We offered to come back after her nap and she said no need. We called, she said she had crackers, etc., for dinner. Ok - seems all is fine.
Friday my sister/niece visit and mom seemed ok. Had HUGE estate sale Sat. and made bookoo $ FOR HER. Got told off today that sister/I didn't call her on Friday and "offer to help make my dinner." She took out a frozen dinner and pulled her back a little bit - and now it's our fault.
I blew up - so tired that we will NEVER, EVER do enough. I have always known she was/is narcissistic but I got to the point today that I couldn't take it. I'm trying so hard, but in almost every conversation I'm being told what I'm not doing enough of.
How do we listen and just say ok and let her dump on us?
Google setting boundaries, detaching with love and daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.