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At this point, I'd say it's time to move on. Contact the medical professionals with whom you've had contact through your client and ask for referrals (and see if they'll give you references .. many might).
Some hard questions (not suggesting you answer here .. it's enough to know your own answers) :
.. ask yourself, when she's in a facility, would you continue to visit, if allowed?
.. how much of your very real angst is the sudden decision and the feeling of helplessness?
.. how much is your reaction due to the bullying? (successful bullies seem to know exactly which buttons to push)
If you can manage to separate yourself from your reactions, you might consider suggesting to the POA, "Listen, I really care about your mom, and if you're convinced a facility will do better than I do, let me stay until the actual transition? I won't get in your way, and I'll do my best to make the transition easier. Leaving her home is going to be hard enough." (or something along those lines)
One of the things I'm considering is: Under most circumstances, moving to a facility will cost the mom's finances WAY more than in-home care (especially at $125 out of pocket, a week). So, maybe (seen from the POA's perspective) s/he's really responding out of fear.
A little story: when I first started working with my lady, the family was all, "come on in .. be a part of the family." First, I have enough dysfunction in my real family that the invitation just gave me the shivers. Second, what I told them was, "I really can't and be an effective advocate for your mom. MY purpose here is to care for her, to the very best of my ability, in spite of or despite your concepts or wishes" (at that time Edna was still legally responsible for herself, with the eldest daughter as POA) It took a while, but they finally learned to respect my position (especially when Edna improved, rather than continued to fail). Unfortunately, at this point, you don't HAVE the time. Unless you can convince the POA that you won't stand in the way.
Meh .. not sure why I shared that story, but I'll go with my instincts.
The family has every right to decide appropriate placement for their parent. A NH can provide 24/7 care that is more comprehensive than what you can provide for their parent's growing needs.
You are understandably worried about your own livelihood, but the family is rightfully concerned about their parent's long term care.
Detaching yourself from drama in this life is necessary for mental health and
Stability.
especially since you are "college educated" and have a "brain". If I were you I would be looking for outside help programs like the county assistance office to help guide you towards indepence....apart from this families "issues".
Some battles are not worth fighting and you have to respect the families wishes. Move on and know that there are jerks everywhere so don't try to control their behavior but also know that sometimes a nursing home is last resort because of overwhelming needs.
You have to take care of yourself first so that you be stable. Getting caught up in power struggles will only distract from pursuing your need of independence.
And, I meant an open heart, in here. Most of us are very vulnerable in here (not weak .. open). When we open up a lot o' cans o' worms, we get lots of support and some damned good advice.
I hafta tell ya .. if I were in your shoes, my first reaction to the threat would be to counterthreat with calling in APS. THEN I'd have to ask myself if that really served my client well. THEN I'd decide the POA could go to hell and threaten all s/he wanted and when the time came I'd blow the whistle sky high. With all the notes and records I kept along the way. BTW .. I'd include a synopsis of every conversation I had with the family, medical people we came into contact with .. oh, heck .. everyone .. and my actions following them.
One of the reasons we've been asking if you're working through an agency is that you should be able to take your concerns to the admin. I'm guessing you're independent, tho. (So am I.) How long have you been with this family? Long enough that your client knows/likes you? Are you familiar with their family dynamics? Without divulging to her what you know her POA is saying, can you get a feeling of how she feels about you? Is she cognizant enough to make any of her own decisions? (Just because there's a person with POA, doesn't mean that she isn't competent, herself. Just asking.)
Hope the pressure lets up soon! Keep coming back for help. We're here.
aps told me im responsible for what happens here in this home so everybody who comes thru our door need to be prepared to deal with me. thats how delegating authority works.
The bottom line is if they have it out for you, there is nothing you can do to prevent them from moving her, short of going to court. I would guess it very unlikely for a court to make you a custodian if there is family. I am suggesting documenting everything and getting witnesses because anyone mean enough to bully, etc is also likely to smear you if necessary to get their way and justify their actions. That could not only result in Mom being moved but make it difficult for you to find new work.
From your concerns, if the family has their way, they are probably going to make a snap decision and/or go for someplace cheap and easy. Perhaps you can do some homework and make it as easy as possible for them to pick a good facility. They are either too busy or lazy or both to deal with Mom, if you do the work for them, they may take the path of least resistance and at least put her someplace you can feel good about.
You'll find that most of the caregivers on this site are family members caring for another family member, and the dynamics of their relationships with the elder is very different from that of a paid caregiver. There are some of us who are not caring for a family member, and are paid to care for someone. I'm one of them, though I'm a live-in with my lady (who is a close friend) and I do it from the heart, as a way of life, more than as a job. I say this, because .. as you read through the site, you'll find many families disgruntled (and rightly so) with outside caregivers, so have some patience and be willing to open your heart, here.