How do I care for mom when I have a chronic illness?

Follow
Share

I share caregiving responsibilities with an agency caregiver because I have fibromyalgia. Some days it's hard to get out of bed because the day before, I overdid myself caring for mom. I am on disability and am thankful I can work

I have no joy or hope in my life because the caregiving never ends. I want my life back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Most days I tell myself I can't do this anymore. Even though I live alone, I take the job home. I am rambling now..i need a vacation so I"m taking one....I'm going to go to an in person support group tomorrow. I'm angry because I reach out to all of my friends now. I feel very alone.

mom's bone on bone shoulder pain is excruciating. She's on narcotics and they're doing zero for her. She can barely reach out to pick up a pen or bring a fork up to her mouth. She suffers and there's nothing I can do about it. I suffer and it seems like nothing I've tried for fibro is helping. Maybe I'm having a pity party but I need to reach out for support. I feel like none of my friends would have a clue about what I go through.

Today I had a reaction to a drug they started on me for fibromyalgia. It caused me mood swings and I wished under my breath that mom would just die already. Is that what caregiving comes down to? Is that who we become when we're burned out?

I am sorry but I needed to vent big time. THANKS FOR LISTENING!

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
2

Comments

Show:
I also have fibro and cargiving 24/7 to my late ungrateful husband was very hard -unless you have it yourself it is hard to understand the wide spread pain and I found the tiredness was harder than the pain most of the time. I am glad you are going to a support group-I think that will make a big difference and hopfully you will make friends who you call and they call you in between meeting -I have a great friend who I met at the group I attended and even though we are both widows now and she moved a distance away we remain friends-she met a nice gentleman near where she moved and I am now in a good relationship-there can be life aftercaregiving-my advice would be to stay away from her and let the caregivers who are hired do the work and only visit as you wish and try to get rest and maybe join a craft group or volunteer-I do both and getting together with other women lots of fun.
(0)
Report

Smitty, (ha, that's what my dad's nickname was)I feel your pain. Care giving is indeed a long, hard road, as we all find out sooner or later. It's especially tough when you're the care giver, and you're dealing with your own health issues. I'm glad to hear that you do have help, and can go home at night.

I think it's very important for you to take a 'day off', if that's at all possible, at least once or twice a week, just for some down time, ME time, to rest and recover. Do some of the things that you enjoy doing, or just read a good book and rest. Sometimes you just have to force any guilt, or thoughts of mom, into the back of your mind during that time. It's the only way to stay sane.

I feel for your mom, and the pain she has to endure. I'm sure seeing her that way, and having your hands tied, unable to do anything, is no cake walk either. If the meds she's on now don't help, can you talk to her doctor about getting something else? Maybe a combo of pain meds would do the trick. My mom is on morphine and percocet(not sure if that's spelled right). The combo helps much better than one pain pill alone.

No, most friends won't get what you're going through unfortunately. But we do. And no, wishing an aging, suffering parent would pass on is pretty damn normal. We all want our lives back. We're human. Don't sweat it, it doesn't mean you're the big, bad wolf.

Do you have other family, siblings that could help on days you're not well? What about hiring someone part time? Let us know how you're doing.. Stay strong, and vent all you need to here... *hugs*
(1)
Report

Related
Questions