Before I start this discussion, I want to first say by no means is this an insult or discrimination against anyone at all. This is merely my opinion from observations and I am looking for suggestions and advice.
My mom has dementia, but she is still cpable of using bathroom on her own, she can feed herself and can answer a direct question( it has to be straight to the point) and follow simple directions. She still has all the other symptoms. Forgetting what you said 5 min ago, misplacing objects,pacing,fumbling with the same thing over and over until it too is lost. She replaces common words with other words etc. My concern is that I have checked out multiple adult day care facilities, and I do finally have her placed 2 days a week for now because I had to hurry up or I was going to go crazy. My comment is all the facilities have all diffent types of elderly and handicapped persons. The demetia persons are not separated from the other handicapped and you are unable to tell who is there for what. Would anyone agrre with me there should be an adult day care that just specializes in dementia patients? Or maybe have 2 different sections for cerebal palsy etc and dementia. The reason I am saying this is because my mom just does not act like she wants to fit in. When she goes and everybody is just sitting around staring in space or unable to move around or function, she just sits there, She will not participate and I can tell she does not want to go back the next day. For all the caregivers out there who are dealing with dementia relatives, you know that until they really get worse, the pupose of placing them in a center is to let them have as much activity and normal stimulation as possible. You know that especially our parents, they really are not cooperative with us as children and will almost listen to anyone but us. They are still trying to hold on to their independence. If they are placed where they are not participating they return home the same way they left. I really wish I could start a center where there was just demtia patients where we could sit and have discussions, just do the activities they really remember doing,( not all eldery enjoyed playing cards or bingo). My mom for instant use to dress displays in Massey's window in NYC until we moved to DC. Then she later started working in safeway food store as a meatcutter. Someone with that background I would have a class where we could have the person select from different style clothes and match them up, or have a discussion on the way to cut up achicken. Our dementia family members still have some little remeberance way in the back of their minds, we want to keep it there as long as possible. All our parents and grandparents use to cook us a great meal and Im sure most of us have to agree no matter how hard we try our replicas of what they fixed is not the same.
Again, I dont want any caregiver out there who is caring for a relative with something different than dementia to get offended! This is not about what is wrong with our elderly, it is about suggestions for better care.

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