Money situation desperate, but can't work outside home because can't leave Mom alone.

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Never in my life have I have thought I would do this, but I'm considering writing a cardboard sign and begging on the corner. I'm essentially a full-time caregiver for my 83-year-old mother. The only things she can still do for herself are walk to the bathroom and dress herself. I can't leave her alone for longer than it takes me to go shopping or get her medicine. She can't carry anything for herself, not even a small glass of water, and is prone to falls (she broke her arm a few months ago).


Other than her $863 social security every month, we have very little money. Last month I made less than $300 from part-time work I was able to find online. I used to support us fairly well as an eBay dealer, but eBay isn't what it used to be and my business slowly died (it’s happened to a lot of us who have been on there since the beginning of eBay). I tried selling used books on Amazon, and put 800+ items on, but made less than $100 a month from those. I tried signing up for Amazon Turk, but though I’m a 58-year-old, who was born and raised in the US who has lived in the same rental for a decade, Amazon wasn’t able to “verify” my identity and refused to let me work for them. I’ve now moved onto Etsy, where I have two stores, but between the two make almost nothing.


Tonight is the last night we’ll have internet service. It gets turned off tomorrow. My cell phone was turned off a couple of days ago. I’ve applied for a free low income phone, but from what I hear, it takes weeks to be approved and for you to receive the phone. I’ve got the utilities covered for this month with LIHEAP for low income families, but what happens after that…no clue.


I’m really scared. I’d say, okay, well I guess we go live in the car (not that my mother could handle that), but it’s essentially dead in the driveway. It can only make it a mile or two before it overheats, the registration is expired and I have no money to insure it.


Believe me, I’ve checked out every low-income service available in my state, which is one of the poorest, while conversely having a minimum of services available to the poor. The waiting list for low-income housing is about 3+ years long. There's currently nothing open in our area as far as low-income assisted living for the elderly. I checked into the program that provides a small stipend to family members who are full-time caregivers. The wait for that is an astounding 10 years. This is the same program that's supposed to provide care for the elderly who want to stay in their homes, but can't afford a paid caregiver, so finding someone who can be there for her while I go to a job is also out.


Today, I scraped together 100 pennies and bought a loaf of bread to keep us going until SNAP day on Friday, embarrassingly having to feed the pennies into the self-check out one at a time. How did I get to be such a loser? Why can’t I be a better provider for us?


One top of all of this… I. Am. Just. So. Tired. I feel like I’m in prison, living the life of an eighty-year-old, instead of someone in her 50s. I have no one to turn to. No friends. No family. No support system of any kind.


Has anyone here ever begged? It’s humiliating, I know, but does it work? I’m thinking a freeway off-ramp would be best, because grocery stores will chase you away, but I’m worried about being arrested, or something going wrong. If it does and I don’t come home within an hour or two, my mother will be frantic, with no one to help her. I’m afraid she could hurt herself while trying to figure out what to do.

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MissingHome, how large is your rental? Why I ask, if there is an extra bedroom or if you could share a bedroom with Mom, maybe you could sub-let that extra bedroom, with shared bath and kitchen privileges, to someone you know for a monthly fee. You could also ask for 1/3 of the utilities or include it in the rent.

Of course, you would need to get permission from the landlord to do that. And the landlord may want a small percentage of the rent.
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Try COPES, if they have it in your state, ask your AREA ON AGING, every state has one. You can become a paid caregiver to your Mother, though the money is not great, probably in the minimum wage level, but you do need to go through their training program, which I a few weeks. I knew of a lady who did this for her own Mom, and she was able to be paid doing it. I hope you have found some solutions, our country doesn't provide very well, for people in this terrible situation!
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Is it possible in your state you can be names your mothers official, professional caregiver and be paid for it? I know in my state you can do that and if you are doing that already then you might as well make it your full time job.

Other options can be food pantries. I agree that begging is not an option because you'd have to be out for hours and maybe even move around if one area is slow. Can you recycle cans and bottles? As far as living situation, can you get a one room place and you sleep on the couch or pull out couch? Somehow cutting living costs so you can live off her SS more?

This is a horrendous situation for a caregiver trying to care for her loved one and life just s##ts all over good people. I hope to hear back from you. Please see about being her full time caregiver.
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I can only further suggest that you march into the Social Services office, very earl6in the morning, so you won't have to wait in long lines, and tell them your ship is sinking, and that you don't know what else you can do, and that you have a vulnerable Senior living with you or visa versa. There must be some kind of help out there! Have you exhausted all of your Unemployment monies? If not, you might be able to apply for this! Have you thought about caring for another Senior, while another person in your simular situation works? You could "babysit" another Senior, while they go to work. How about working in a Senior Center, while your Mom goes to work with you. I would also check out Senior centers, and see what is posted on their Cork boards, there may be people looking for services that you can provide, you could post services that you can provide on there too! Good luck, and I'm so sorry you are struggling with this!
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If you consider pin money doing well.
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JessieBelle-

I see, still it is an option for the OP especially if she/he does not want to leave mom alone for many hours. It's good that you've done pretty well online.
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zytrhr, there is money to be made online, but several million people doing it. Competition is fierce and you have to work hard to get your shop out there. I see shops opening and closing every day. Speaking from personal experience and that of other shop owners, revenues have fallen in the last four years. Corporations are doing fine, but the little guys are struggling. The main key is to sell what people want at a price they want to pay, of course. But then you have to keep up with the market. Customers may want Mickey Mouse watches today and only Tiffany the next. So you're stuck with all these Mickey watches that no one wants. :)

I did well selling a few years ago. Now I still do better than many, but it is really only pin money at the moment. And it takes a lot more work to make it than it used to. I understood exactly what MissingHome was saying.
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One more thing, see if your local library has books on thrifty living, or do a Google search.
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What state do you live in? If you live in a state serviced by ATT, you can get drastically reduced Internet, using you SNAP card.
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JessieBelle

There is money to be made online, one just has to search:}

Missinghome- Coupons is your friend,if your local library allows you to download their website to print coupons.
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