Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Lisa: Just a precautionary. Make sure everything is set, rent paid, signatures obtained, etc. I know you will do that. Actually, it makes sense to me for your mom to go to the hospital because her breathing needs attention. She'll come out better for the care and start off stronger at her new residence and the move will be so much easier with her gone. Plus, we gotta throw a little bone to your youngest. Keep us posted. You are amazing.
(2)
Report

Yes, Lisa. It would be awesome. Love and Hugs, Cattails.
(1)
Report

Omg! Wouldn't that be great cat? What an idea. I could probably make that happen as soon as I get the move in date. She'll even make her another 875.00. Yeehaaaaaaaaa
(2)
Report

Lisa: FANTASTIC!!!! So relieved and happy for you and your family. I'm wondering if it is safe now to send your mom to the hospital and rehab for her breathing? All her belongings could be packed and moved in peace. Hugs, Cattails
(5)
Report

I'm so happy for you and your family!!! Maybe this experience will convince your nephew to make some life changes. I will be praying for your niece. Take care. Rebecca
(3)
Report

Yay! You go girl!
(2)
Report

Lisa you are an inspiration to all of us that we do not have to stand for what is handed to us after this is all over I hope you stick around to help others we do not see many success stories here.
(2)
Report

Good morning everyone. ITS HAPPENING!!!! The next week to two weeks. She's signed the paperwork. I just need to fax them her pharmacies numbers so they can determine her cost of medicine. If she docent behave herself till then I told my addict nephew he will need to keep her till her move. My poor niece, who mom can't stand and her 3 daughters are gonna help get her packed and in her new place. Maybe it's wrong, but I just need to remove myself from all this. My niece has worries bout her accusing her of stealing her things. Which she will. But I'll handle that. Mom is being very cordial. Very nice. That a warning sign to me. The papers she mailed this week are I'm sure changing beneficiary to her measly life insurance to the nephew. And I am soooo grateful for that. I want no part of planning her burial when it happens. And of course the first words outta daughters mouth (youngest) was that long??? Hahaha. Knots still there but I am trying to look for the peaceful feelings.
(7)
Report

Lisa: I'm thinking about you and waiting to hear the news. Sending love and white light. Cattails
(2)
Report

Blessings to you and your family. Please do not feel guilty. I have issues with that and have to remind myself that I deserved better as a child, and I deserve better now.I have been amazed at the love and care that has poured out throughout this post. You are very precious to us. Hang in there during these last few days. Rebecca
(2)
Report

Yay! And if she comes back and says she didn't like the place, or they don't have an opening until June, just calmly remind her of the 30-day notice. You've done your bit to help her find housing. Now it is up to her.

But let's hope all goes well today
(2)
Report

GO LISA! You are the poster child (poster caregiver?) for taking things from problem to solution, and bypassing the "woe is me" stage so many of us (me included) live in. You are an inspiration! Hurrah for you! Sending love
(5)
Report

Elisa,
You're the best:) You are a great example of having a problem, gathering info, asking for ideas and help, then dealing with it and moving forward--like I said to you before--"catching the ball and running with it."
You have made the decision with confidence, and spoken it with conviction. Of course it will work out, because YOU believe in the decision, and so others know you mean it. You ROCK!
Be proud of your ability to make this happen. I am proud of you, GF.
Hugs,
Christina xo
(7)
Report

Hi everyone. She just walked out the door for her appointment with friendship house. It's all coming together. She came in the living room and asked how she would get moved. Well duh. We are even sending the bed she sleeps in. No excuses for not going right away. I'm sooo hoping it's available the first of may. I am so excited. I don't think I can bear it if this doesn't happen. I'll let you know how it went tonight.
(3)
Report

I am very happy that things are getting better for you. Hope that things continue to go well......... Some of your guys comments are very funny. you do realize that oxygen cant explode right. when a fire happens it is because the oxygen from the canola got to close to an open flame which feed the fire and makes it a stronger fire. Which mean when someone is smoking with oxygen and it to close the cigarate it will cause the cigarate to go up quickly and taking things like the person face and clothes with it. But the oxygen itself will not expode so a house is not under any threat of explosion if there is enought flamable material around this is a risk of fire.
(1)
Report

Lisa you will be able to pay it forward I did not ask for all my experience of those 16 years but it has helped others along the way.
(1)
Report

Judy, who knew that sitting alone feeling such dispare are that I go looking the net over to find affordable housing for my mother that I would find the most amazing people. Tell your story. Everyone here has gotten me this far. I would still be at square one if not for these wonderful women. I've already vowed to myself I will never leave this site. Because, you see, between a mother and two sisters I feel their isn't much I haven't had to endure. So I will pay it forward.
(3)
Report

Lisa, I've been gone today and Friday evening also. I just want to say that you are an amazing person and how you managed to bring so much love to others, considering the devastating place and ongoing problems and losses of your family is beyond me. I am so happy to know that you have a wonderful family, children and the love of your husband's family.

It's too bad that your mom didn't have you as a mother. She may be learning something from you now and it could be to her remaining benefit. Nevertheless, STAY in the light, the light of love and the light of truth.

I can understand that you can't completely walk away. That's fine and I trust your wisdom to know how to tread on this quicksand that is such a part of your mom's darkness. Show her the firm boundaries you continue to establish and at the same time, open your heart and hugs to those who truly love you.

Blessings and Love, Cattails.
(3)
Report

Lisa, I just signed up today after reading your story and comments. I've been feeling at the end of my rope with my parents these past few weeks and I was visiting this website to see how other people deal with elderly parents. I became hooked on your story and comments and just had to sign up after reading the helpful suggestions and support that members gave you. What an awesome site. I'll be looking to see what Monday brings for you! Good luck.
(3)
Report

Eliza just take each day as it comes once she is settled in her new place will be time to work on you and you will find you are very strong and her opiton of you is not correct and you will be able to detach from the hurt she has caused and you do not need to see her again until you are ready-then you will be able to see her for short periods of time when you want to and will set your own boundaries and each time you do you will feel that you do have your power back-she will have lost her power over you and that will feel great.
(1)
Report

I can totally understand. I have a sibling for whom there is no love on my part. I wish that sibling peace, but I cannot love her. I hope you continue to create a loving life for yourself. You deserve it. I have worked for it for years and am just reaching peace in my fifties. Take care of yourself. Rebecca
(1)
Report

I meant devastated at 9 years old.
(0)
Report

Rebecca, I was deserted at 9 years old when my brother died. When both of my sisters died, I just could not shed a tear. I've never wished them harm in my whole life, but you can't imagine the weight that was lifted off of me. I could not even shed a tear. But I did take care of their children thru it all. I've always wondered what the made me seem like to others. The sis who committed suicide could never accept that mom did not love her. I hope she's finally found peace with that. Mom caused a scene at her funeral and left. But not before ripping the rosary out of her hands that she had extra and gave my 25 year old niece to bury her with. The other sister? She never even showed up. So Rebecca, there will never be love. And I know with every fiber of my being there won't be a tear shed when she's gone. And how will that look? Don't care. It just is.
(1)
Report

You know, Lisa, you have realized the truth to situations like yours (and mine) much faster than I did. You can't turn your back, but you can place distance between the two of you in order to create any kind of life for yourself. The nice part about this is that you can try to love on your own terms (if you want to ) and can live in peace. I am so happy for you! Rebecca
(3)
Report

Just got done looking over packet that was sent to mom from friendship house. Added up expences and she will have plenty left over to enjoy herself with other senior if she so chooses. She informed me that the coke head nephew wants to leave his wife and son and the two of them get an apartment together. She actually saw it for what it is. The same vicious cycle of having her money drained and being an enabler like she was with his mother. I'm trying to talk her into the studio apt instead of the 1 bedroom. Less space to clean. It's one large room with plenty of space with a kitchette and bathroom to the side. She can have her computer desk and her curio. She has a lot to decide. I also realize as much as I would like I won't be able to just walk away. But with her in another place when her cutting words and her hate makes an appearance, I'll be free to walk out. I'm hopeful they have a room available now. Keep the prayers coming!
(4)
Report

Monday is coming faster by the minute. Sending you all ove and strength and laughter.
(1)
Report

Elisa,
Thank you for answering my comment. Just know we are still thinking and praying for your and your family including your mother who must be a miserable person. You have a great life ahead of you! Rebecca
(1)
Report

Lisa take care of you good thoughts and big hugs coming your way.
(1)
Report

Rest sweetie. Sending you prayers
(0)
Report

Thanks for taking the time for the update. Get all the sleep you can!
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter