My mom has been in a nursing home/rehab since December. Prior to that she was living alone. She is unable to move in with any family. I was doing all of the caregiving, going shopping, laundry, pills, daily calls, doctor's, finances, etc. She went into rehab a year ago last May due to hypertensive encephalopathy. While there, they explained to me that she really shouldn't be living alone and we needed to get her on Medicaid. I started the process alone, as my brother didn't agree. They made me cancel appointments and wouldn't let me set anything up. Now she is at the point where she must have someone at home with her. We applied for Medicaid and she was approved. We were supposed to convert her over to community Medicaid and bring her home with a home health aide. However, my brother and mother were the ones pushing for this. I feel she needs more structure (so do her doctors and therapists).
I guess the biggest issue is that while I do everything, my brother is the one she praises. I take her out every Saturday and visit her during the week. I take her to appointments and get everything she wants. During the vast majority of these visits/outings, she has been abusive towards me. Both verbally and emotionally. I kept telling her if she continued to act like that I wouldn't do it anymore, but never followed through. Well, she finally got the assessment by the MLTC plan for home health care. They only allotted her 26 hours a week, which is not enough. Too boot, my husband had to go to the assessment because my brother has been MIA and I had to work. Although my brother is the one who wants her to go home and has POA, he has done nothing to get her there. I know if she goes home, especially with only 26 hours, I will be beyond stressed out and abused by her. So I told both her and the company helping us to get the Medicaid coverage, that I am no longer willing to help. If my brother wants her home, he can be the one to go through these meetings and set everything up. Needless to say, he isn't responding and now my mother is pitching a fit. She is calling everyone she knows trying to get to me. I have not called her and plan on taking the weekend off. I just wanted to put it down here to work through some of the awful guilt I am feeling.