Can I just vent?

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My FIL watched a 90 min infomercial about the ‘cancooker’. He wants to buy one for our house (they live with us in my house). Tells my husband it’s so ‘your wife can cook us some decent meals’. Now, we all have different dietary restrictions. I mostly ignore mine and fix what I know my MIL can eat because she is so frail and needs the nourishment. I also teach full time in a town 30min away, and often do not get home until 8:30pm. My hubby said ‘erm no’. But I am still left with unresolved irritation. Does this man who does nothing proactive for his own health (almost fell today carrying a laundry basket with two shirts and a pair of pants so he sat down and drank 2 beers), cancels his doctor appts, refuses to take prescribed meds and will not eat chicken because he once delivered at a poultry farm and was appalled at how it was run (40 years ago), expect me to quit my job, give up my career that pays the majority of the bills including house payment and utilities and groceries, to become the full time caregiver? I’m so frustrated! Ok rant over, thanks

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I had a long talk with her son today, she tends to lie and I wanted him to hear my side of the story. She told her grandson I won’t give her anything for pain, I give her all that she is prescribed. She still wants more. She has a history of self medicating and personal neglect. She used to take so many drugs it caused OIC and her intestine ruptured, doctors know her history and will not prescribe any narcotic or strong anti anxiety medicine. She has had X-rays, MRI’S and CT Scans, there isn’t anything wrong. So now she wants to go to Mayo Clinic in hopes of getting pain meds! I’m so tired and frustrated. Just venting!
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Ermagerd they went ahead and bought it. I’m going to turn it into a positive and let those three feed/clean up kitchen themselves and I will finally start healing my ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome without guilt. Whew.
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Love all the support! Thanks much.

Yes he is the one we’re watching for dementia. They buy the meat for the house (unless I sneak in some chicken) but we buy everything else. He buys his own beer, sneaks into the liquor cabinet too (the hubs had a talk with him about that).

Idk why he’s so enthralled, most of the food was CHICKEN! Which he hates. At any rate, my UC/IBS, MILs dysphasia and hubby’s diabetes negates many of the recipes for this thing.

We agreed on two chores when they moved in—keep the ice trays full and take out garbage. Not happening and I’m sooo tired of his griping about it, I hand it over to my hubby.

Hopefully things will even out soon. Hopefully my antidepressant and BP meds will continue.

I want to give you all a huge hug!!!!
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I'd be very careful throwing down that gauntlet, GA. What if he picks it up? The poor lady wouldn't be able to call her kitchen her own; and I've never yet heard of a mid-life cook who clears up after himself.
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Turn the challenge around and tell him that if he wants the Cancooker, he can learn to cook. Then provide him with a list of local classes, or someplace he can go to learn how to cook. Repeat ad infinitum every time he criticizes.

And find some chores for him to do so he can't just sit around and do nothing.

Is he contributing anything to the food purchases? If not, why not?

You could also emphasize your displeasure at being insulted by advising him you'll teach him how to cook, starting with learning how to boil water. Every time he makes a snide remark, turn it around against him and tell him you'll help him learn how to do x, y, or z - whatever he's complained about.

Eventually he'll learn that any criticism results in it being thrown back at him.

And don't buy him any more beer. Why spend your money on junk drinks?

Women have power - use yours.
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Yes, well, there's nothing like a little appreciation to brighten our day, is there? And what your FIL remarked is NOTHING like a little appreciation...

Tactless old man. Your husband has a lot more sense; although perhaps another time he might decide not to bother sharing this kind of anecdote. But I'm curious - what were the people in the infomercial making in this miracle kit that FIL found so appealing?
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I'd do more than vent........I'd go stay at a hotel for a break and let them fend without you for a while, then maybe they might start to appreciate all you do. In the meantime, vent away!
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What an ingrate! Do FIL and MIL pay anything towards their upkeep and for caregiving?
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Dear cat,

I'm so sorry. I know its hard and you are doing the very best you can for both your MIL and FIL. It is hard to live with elders.

Thinking of you. Sending you hugs.
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Go for it girl.
Let it all out, as often as you need.


Hugs
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