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This is what happened last night.. I moved 1000 miles and gave up a good paying job to care for my 90 father and 80 yr mother. I live in their home and they pay me 500 a month. (Very hard to live on) we applied to va benefits to help my financial situation for caring for them.. I was told by my mother I would not the 500 and that too which is fine.. She then stated what ever we get u may get half a month.. And the fight begins.. I am just so sad and not sure what to do at this point.. I can not convey to them that 500 is really nothing, I have no other job or health benefits.. Other siblings are scattered thru the us.. Not sure where to go from here
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If a person needs 24/7 care, then one person cannot do the caring. By definition, you would need three shifts of caregivers.

Does your mother have the funds to pay both you (her child) and two more shifts of caregivers daily?
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Mom needs 24/7 care one child would stay at her home to care other wants to put in a home both have 50/50 power of attorney how does this work
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Wonderful answers to most questions but not a most important question. How are taxes handled by the person receiving legitimately for services to be rendered a lump sum payment for a personal services contract for Medicaid purposes. Don't tell me to ask my CPA because I am the CPA and cannot find answers anywhere.
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chero62, just a curiousity question. I am DPO for my mother and the document strictly states I cannot charge agent fees to carry out my DPOA responsibilites, except in cases of reimbursement for out of pocket expenses. Does your POA allow for agent fees or is the money you receive for actual caregiver duties and room and board? Your answer could help me with a future situation for me.
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Yes of course they can especially if they are the POA. I take an "agents fee" every month as I had to quit my job/career to provide care for my InLaws. I shouldn't have to loose income to provide for my family because they are sick so I pay myself $2000 a month (that is $1000 per person not a lot but enough to cover my expenses). I also have them reimburse for things like the food, the extra cost to the utilities, gas for the car to take her to DR appts etc that I have incurred since my mother in law moved in. I keep receipts for everything that are expenses for both MIL and FIL and once a month reimburse myself for those expenses that are coming out of my pocket.

I really isn't about the money but without my income added to hubbies income my family would have to do without a lot of things they shouldn't have to do without so if I'm going to be at home providing the care I have to have that income still come in. No one should be strapped for cash just because they are providing care for a parent at home.

My mom use to charge my grandfather room and board each month to cover the costs of his care. If you talk to a CPA or Elder Estate Planning Attorney they can tell you what you can take and what you can't take. Every state is different.

For kr - you need an elder attorney to help you and your dad change things. You and He will have to go to court to have the guardianship changed (as someone should have had to go to implement the guardianship in the first place)

one of the things a lawyer can help you with is to put your name on things like the deed to the house so if he passes the house becomes yours as you already own it as the survivor of the jointly owned property. If your dad is already been declared incompetent with a DR's note then the POA has been activated and it may be harder to do things but If there isn't a doctors note saying he is incompetent then technically he can still change things but you do need an attorney's guidance here.
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There is a caveat to what Ralph Robbins posted, as I have just found this out myself.
The VA allows up to 2050 a month to take care of both parents. The way they set it up when they check for liquid assets to determine financial support is they check for total expenditures (including cost of caregiver,mortgage , and all other bills ) and it must exceed the amount he makes each month.
So when I asked the advocate for the VA he said we must present cancelled checks from my parents and to me for what they are paying me but it must be greater than their total income, and on completely separate accounts. Which really confused me at first, especially if the max is only 2050. Basically my father has to write me a check for everything he takes in from his pension and Social Security, then the Va will reimburse him 2050.00 Then from my account I can either pay his bills or electronically transfer the difference back to him, there by getting 2050.00 for caring for them. This benefit is for veterans and their spouses and is tax free. Im starting to think that's how they made it tax free, this way I'm not an employee.
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I am living with my 84 year old Mother me and my husband moved in with her in feb. we had to give up our jobs and my husband took early retirement and only gets 565 a month. my Mother signed the house over to us and gave us some money. she also had me transfer money from her savings to a account of mine. if she goes into a nursing home say about a year from now do I lose it all? I read that If I am living with her for 2 years before she has to go into a home I don't lose the money or house is that true. and do I have to pay taxes on the money or house?
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kr...

I think a better idea would be to patch things up with your family. You all have a common cause: Dad's care. A house divided...

Otherwise, guardianship can only be changed by a judge. You and/or your father or even a third party can petition the court. Your sister will have the opportunity to respond. The judge may get fed up with all of you and nominate an independent guardian. Then the only thing all of you will have to worry about is loving your father.

So why not skip that middle step?
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PatCornish...

There is a difference as to how compensation is calculated and how compensation is paid. I do not know about MN, but in most states where the technique is permitted compensation is calculated hourly and can be paid in any manner the parties agree to.

Again, if Medicaid is not contemplated, it doesn't matter.
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PatCornish...

Let me be more clear about the effect of a parent paying a child for care. My comments were mostly directed at a technique used in some circumstances to transfer lump sum amounts without creating a penalty period of ineligibility for Medicaid nursing home benefits (or in some states home and community based services as well).

If money is not an issue, as seems to be your families situation at the moment as you stated mom's money is being used to pay the nursing home, then you should have no concern for Medicaid eligibility and your mom is free to pay you as much as she pleases.

If, however, Medicaid is currently warranted or will be so in the foreseeable future, constructing a personal services contract as discussed above would be an important step. If you need further information start with a more localized search on Medicaid benefit planning and/or personal care/personal service contracts.

Otherwise, take a look at the comment by another poster in this series about how his/her family is handling the transaction between parent/child.

Good luck...
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I AM SINGLE & MY FATHER'S FULL TIME CAREGIVER, HE LIVES WITH ME. MY SISTER HAS POA & GUARDIANSHIP. MY SISTER & HER HUSBAND ARE SAYING THEY HAVE FULL CONTROLL OF MY DAD'S ESTATE & THAT WHEN HE IS GONE THEY CAN MAKE ME LEAVE MY HOME I SHARE WITH MY DAD!! MY SISTER IS A VERY HEAVY DRINKER & GETS OUT OF CONTROLL ALOT!! SHE DOES NOT KEEP ANY CONTACT WITH OUR DAD WHAT SO EVER!! THIS IS VERY SAD & MY DAD DOES NOT UNDERSTAND!! MY DAD WANTS TO CHANGE THE GUARDIANSHIP OVER TO ME. CAN THIS BE DONE & WHAT STEPS NEED TO BE TAKEN? I AM SO CONFUSED & CONCERN!! CAN SOMEONE HELP GUIDE ME!? I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE!!
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Hi, I just read your post and this is what my mom and I do (we are in CA). She pays me (she can afford it) to be her live-in caregiver. I pay estimated taxes every quarter and we fill out a 1099-MISC for tax filing at year end. It is also legal for a parent to "gift" you and your husband and I think children money every year, tax free, I forget the dollar amount but just call a cpa or google it. Also by paying me it is a tax write off for her. Good luck
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I guess in a way, that is one thing I have to be thankful for.

I am an only child, so there are no siblings to bicker with. Of course, there are also no siblings to help with decision making or care either.
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You can absolutely set up a family caregiver contract, as long as it meets the requirements of your state laws. In order to preserve the Medicaid and Veterans benefits options, if applicable, it is absolutely critical to have a qualified attorney prepare these documents.

Another benefit of written family caregiver contracts where money changes hands is that it can help to avoid conflicts with siblings or other family memebers later. Long before you call the lawyer to draft the contract you need to take the time to work through all the issues with your family.
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The other thing I would like to know....

is does "pay" HAVE to be hourly? Is it okay to have an agreed upon amount to be paid MONTHLY? There won't be any 8 hour days, I don't think. Some days will be more difficult than others. Does one have to consider OT pay when calculating hours worked over 40 per week (or whatever the law is in your State?)

There's just so darned much to think about. All the financial mumbo-jumbo in addition to mom's failing memory and the couple of fairly minor medical issues.
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RS - You seem to have some good ideas there!

I am looking for advice/direction as I am working to bring my 80 year old mom home from a care facility to her house and have my family live with her and help her with her daily living. She has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and dementia, and is currently dealing with a kidney stone.

She is fairly ambulatory, but is a fall risk, the nursing home keeps her in a wheelchair.

My concern is that if I quit my job to care for her, my financial contribution to my own family will suffer. I am confident that any amount my mom paid to me would be far less than the nursing home is costing her. I am unsure of the legality though, from what you say it is perfectly okay for her to pay ME instead of a facility?

I am not sure where to turn for more information. We are in St. Paul, MN.....any information that *anyone* can direct me toward would really be appreciated!
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Of course a parent can pay a child to be a caregiver. Why not? Anybody can pay anybody to do anything (what a country!). A more accurate question might be "What are the ramifications of a parent paying a child for care?"

And this question would only be relevant in two areas: Taxes and public benefit eligibility.

From a tax standpoint, if the child is working ONLY for the parent in a service providing capacity, the law usually falls on the side that the child is now an employee of the parent and all applicable employment taxes are due including FICA, FUTA, and of course the child must pay income tax on the money earned. If the child is in "the business" of caregiving and the parent is one of several clients the child may then be eligible for independent contractor status.

Also keep in mind that money changing hands between parent and child can be extremely treacherous when it comes to later applying for public benefits. Without bonefide fair market value transactions documented, Medicaid caseworkers will be quick to deem payments as gifts and deny benefits.

That being said, from a public benefit standpoint, the powers that be actually encourage the parent-child caregiving.

In fact, in many states it is possible to transfer a lump sum of money in advance satisfaction of a caregiving contract between a parent and child and then qualify for Medicaid immediately.

What did he just say??? That's right. Transfer money to the child for caregiving and qualify immediately for Medicaid. This is done by executing a Personal Care (sometimes called Personal Services) contract between the parent and child in advance of Medicaid application.

An hourly rate is assigned the child caregiver. Let's say, for example, $35 per hour. The hourly rate is multiplied times the number of hours of service per week. Let's use 10 hours. This is multiplied by the number of weeks per month (4) and then by the number of months of the elder's statistical life expectancy, let's say 7 years or 84 months. The resulting amount, in this example $117,600, could then be transferred lump sum to the child.

This shifting of assets could very well bring the parent's down to Medicaid eligibility levels. The downside, as mentioned above, is taxation. The lump sum amount is taxable all in one year. Ouch! Then there are the other taxes, and filing requirements. Plus, the state requires that logs be kept of the services provided to the parent. Still a very effective tool which I have used often.

The other program to be aware of is Veteran pension benefits. Non-service connected pension programs such as Homebound and Aid and Attendance permit the cost of family caregivers to be included in benefit eligibility calculations.

Medicaid also has a program in many states called "Cash and Counseling" which also makes provision for family caregivers.

Hope this helps...
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i read a lot about this and would it be great if take care of our parents when they need it it is like giving back the love and support that they gave us when we are young
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define a "child"...
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my father requires 24 hour care..he is bed ridden...is it legal for him to pay a child money for care...if it is what needs to be done
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